


Project Meta

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Characters Writing Fanfiction, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Endgame, Endgame Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, First Meetings, Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Meta, Mutual Pining, Online Friendship, Online Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Sad theo, Theo Raeken Needs a Hug, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-06-05 00:26:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15158441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: Theo is a stressed out fanfiction author. It's not that he doesn't enjoy writing, he does. It just becomes more stressful the more he puts on his plate. Especially with all the pressure he puts on himself. On top of that he's part of a discord for one of his favorite ships. Something he is beyond grateful for because it has brought some amazing people into his life. Some of those people like Derek and Stiles happen to live close to him. Others sadly, do not. Unfortunately he just happens to start falling for Liam Dunbar, who lives on the other side of the country.Liam is also a fanfiction writer, but more than that he's an avid reader. He fell in love with Theo's words the moment he first started posting them for his new favorite ship. Then without him even realizing it he started falling for Theo himself. It's just too bad Theo is so far away, and seems to be wrapped up in a relationship already.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ithinkwehaveanemergency](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithinkwehaveanemergency/gifts), [eliestarr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliestarr/gifts), [LovelyLittleGrim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyLittleGrim/gifts).



> This is something that I've had sitting on the back burner for a few weeks. I've finally decided to dive in and get to work on it. Since this is my 200th fic I wanted it to be special and this just seemed like the perfect thing.  
> I'm dedicating it to my queens Adri, Elie, and Amanda. Who are also going to be helping with this with fics of their own when it comes to Stiles, Isaac, and Derek.

Theo loves writing, he does. He remember the first thing in wrote in the 5th grade when he was 10 years old. It started as simple poems before moving onto angstier poems and then lyrics. Eventually he found his way to fanfiction. He doesn’t often like to talk about those first few years of writing fanfiction. They weren’t exactly his best years. He barely knew how to write dialogue at all. It was horrible. But all that writing back then definitely helped him grow and learn. Even now, 12 years later, he’s still learning and growing. It’s something he never wants to stop doing. He doesn’t want to reach a point of stagnation where he’s just standing still. It’s better to always be trying new things and developing his craft.

Unfortunately people might not always appreciate his need to diverge. He tries to tell himself he’s writing for himself and none of that matters but he still can’t help but be glued to his screen always wondering if someone is going to read what he’s writing. Rare pairs are important and deserve love and appreciation too damn it.

Theo had been in a few fandoms before getting into Adolescent Lycans and had read plenty of fanfiction, especially Merthur fanfiction. They were in love and deserved better, okay? It wasn’t until he got into Adolescent Lycans and started shipping Stean that he really felt the need to start writing. At first he started out slow, just a fic every few months. Then something happened and he started writing almost every day and it became an addiction. Even then it wasn’t so bad. He only had one fic going at a time.

Then came Leddy. That had been an accident. For a while Theo hadn’t been interested in Leo at all and he couldn’t stand Teddy. Mostly because Stuart was one of his favorite characters and Theo could never forgive Teddy for all the shit he pulled. But then something happened. Teddy went away and then he came back and of course he had to have the redemption arcs of all redemption arcs. Which is Theo’s ultimate weakness. Never mind the fact that he had obvious chemistry with Leo.

Theo was surprised with how well his first Leddy fic went over. All of the comments are positive, and it’s more than he’s gotten on any fic he’s done in such a short amount of time. So he keeps writing. He notices that a lot of his readers from the first fic followed him over and continue to do so over the next few fics. At one point he starts a back and forth of yelling compliments with MrMischief. It’s fun and he finds himself looking forward to the lighthearted banter.

On his fifth fic in the fandom there’s one that gives him pause. It’s the longest comment he’s ever gotten on anything. Ever. It’s a comment from someone called Dunbear2001. They spend the whole comment gushing about what they like about the fic and Theo can’t help but smile while reading it. He always smiles when he reads comments but something about this one seems different. Then it just keeps happening.

The Leddy fandom is the first time he actively interacts with other writers. He finds he likes it. Which is why when he gets invited to join the Leddy discord he does so immediately. On there he finds a whole community of people that are there for the same reason he is, because they love the show and this ship. Some of his favorite fanfiction authors are on there and at first it’s a little daunting, but as he gets to know them he finds out how amazing they are and how easy it is to talk to them.

One of those people on the discord is Dunbear2001. When Theo first sees them on there his heart does a funny flip. Theo finds himself wanting to know more about this person. He just doesn’t want to look like a creep. So he sticks back. He keeps writing and talking to Dunbear and the others, including MrMischief who is also part of the discord.

He’s not the least bit embarrassed when he gets his best friend Parrish, who is also a fan of Leddy, to join the discord. It’s only for that reason and nothing to do with Dunbear. Not at all. Then something happens. Dunbear posts a link to their Tumblr. Theo immediately jumps at the opportunity to learn more about this mystery person who he’s been talking to these past few months.

Except the first thing he sees on Dunbear’s Tumblr is a recent picture of them. Theo’s eyes widen as he takes in the dirty blonde hair, the bright blue eyes, and happy smile on his face. Theo scrolls back up, now desperate to put a name to a face. There it is, sitting at the top of the page for all to see. _Liam_. His name is Liam.

Theo isn’t sure why it’s important. He just likes talking to Liam, that’s all. So of course he wants to know his name. Just like he wanted to know MrMischief’s name was Stiles and LycanDoWhateverIWant’s name is Derek and Freezerburn’s name is Isaac. It’s important to know who he’s talking to. That’s all it is. He doesn’t care what Parrish says. It’s nothing.

Theo admits that at some point he gets a little bit of a crush on Derek. It’s not his fault that the guy is ridiculously attractive. And smart. And one of the best writers in the fandom. And he has a way of keeping Theo on his toes. The same could be said about Stiles though. And Isaac. Why does this damn fandom have to have so many attractive and amazing people in it? It’s not fair.

What’s worse is that Derek and Stiles both live a town over from Theo. It would be all too easy to get in his truck and drive the 15 minutes to see them. That is, if they were actually interested in meeting him.

It’s not until Theo is sitting on the discord one Friday night, complaining about how he has nothing to do and considering just opening up a bottle of whiskey when it happens. He gets a message in his group chat with Stiles and Derek from Stiles telling him to just pack an overnight bag and come over. Theo is hesitant at first, but then he quickly agrees. It beats anything else he had planned.

Except then Theo gets to the house Stiles sent him the address to and is met with the sight of a very shirtless Derek opening the door. Theo’s eyes widen as he tries not to stare at Derek’s chest and makes himself look up at Derek’s face. Derek just shakes his head and tells him to come in.

Theo looks around as he follows Derek into the house, noting that they’re the only ones that seem to be there, “Where’s Stiles?”

“He’s going to be late. He had to help his Dad with something.” Derek tells him, falling back onto the couch with more grace than someone should be allowed to.

Theo nods and sits down next to Derek. At first it’s awkward, neither one knowing what to say. Then Theo remembers something he’d been meaning to talk to Derek about. He turns to him, feeling the same excitement he’d had before when he’d thought of it.

“So I had an idea,” Theo says.

“Of course you did,” Derek turns to him, his lips twitching up into an amused smile. “What is it?”

“Well I was sort of thinking about killing Harvey,” Theo says, slowly so he can gauge Derek’s reaction.

“Oh thank god,” Derek breathes. “So was I. I’m so tired of being told who I can and can’t kill.”

“Right?” Theo says, getting more animated as he talks. “It’s ridiculous! It’s our writing. We should be able to write what we want. And if that means killing Harvey, so be it.”

They both turn when there’s a groan from the entryway to see Stiles standing there. He rolls his eyes and he walks into the room, “I was hoping to walk in on you two making out. I should have known better. Of course you would spiral. This is not acceptable.”

“Why would we be making out?” Theo asks, trying not to show just how much he likes the idea.

“Because you’re both hot and clearly attracted to each other,” Stiles shrugs.

“He’s not wrong,” Derek says.

“No,” Theo says, eyes moving over to Derek to find him already watching him. “He’s definitely not wrong.”

“Jesus,” Stiles mutters. “I can literally feel the tension here. It’s stifling.”

“What about you?” Theo asks, chancing a glance his way.

“Oh I definitely wouldn’t mind joining in,” Stiles tells them, “but I’m going to need this,” he gestures between Theo and Derek, “resolved first.”

Theo looks back to see Derek’s face a lot closer than before. Theo takes a deep breath, trying not to squirm under Derek’s gaze. “This isn’t a joke, is it?”

“Of course it's not,” Derek tells him, letting his fingers trail lightly across Theo’s palm. “It’s also completely up to you. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“It doesn’t?”

He feels relieved when Derek shakes his head. He likes Derek and Stiles but he’s not sure if he’s ready for anything serious. He has his eyes set elsewhere but right now that doesn’t seem possible. Distance is a bitch. But he knows he’s definitely interested in whatever this is. And it is an option.

“Okay,” Theo whispers, leaning in closer to Derek.

He can almost feel Derek’s answering smile against his lips, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Theo says. “I’m interested in this if you are.”

Derek grins wider, hooking an arm around Theo’s waist and pulling him into his lap, “Oh I’m definitely interested.”

The first brush of lips is soft, just a gentle exploration. Almost like a hello. Then Theo shifts closer and moves his hands up to grip Derek’s hair. Derek groans, his mouth opening under his and Theo can’t resist slipping his tongue inside the warm cavern and exploring. It becomes more heated after that. All Theo can do is hold on.

Theo feels the couch dip next to him and breaks away. His eyes meet Stiles’ darker ones as Derek’s lips move down to his neck. Theo reaches out, his hand finding Stiles’ as he tries to pull him closer.

Stiles smirks but goes willingly, “Oh so you want some of this Stiles action too?”

“Yeah,” Theo says. He groans when Derek nuzzles into his neck, his beard scratching at the sensitive skin there. He has no doubt his skin is going to be red and raw, but he loves the thought of it.

One of his hands moves up to grab the back of Stiles’ neck while the other holds onto Derek’s shoulder. He’s pleased when Stiles leans in and kisses him. Stiles kisses him with a hunger and desperation that he’s not used to. That paired with the way Derek is still licking and sucking at his neck leaves him feeling dizzy.

Eventually they both pull back and Theo can only watch as their lips meet for a passionate kiss. Something tells Theo this isn’t the first time they’ve been together like this. They move so well together, as if their hands and mouths were always meant to be together.

Stiles’ eyes open and meet his and then he’s reaching out and pulling Theo towards him. Theo goes, letting Stiles direct his face towards his neck. The skin is soft under his lips and so pale. Theo has the urge to mark it. So he does, sucking and biting his way across the skin.

He glances over to see Derek doing the same thing to the other side. When their eyes meet Derek smiles, kissing his way across Stiles’ skin until his nose is brushing against Theo’s. All Theo has to do is tilt his head and then they’re kissing again. Derek kisses him slow and deep, drawing pleased sighs from Theo as Stiles’ hands card through his hair.

“We should go somewhere more comfortable,” Derek mumbles against his lips.

“We should,” Stiles agrees, sounding more than a little breathless.

Theo looks between the two, feeling his nerves skyrocket again. Derek must sense this because he squeezes his hand, giving him a soft smile. “Just to cuddle and make out. There’s more room on my bed. We’re never going to do anything you’re not interested in.”

“Yep because consent is important,” Stiles says.

Theo lets himself be led upstairs to Derek’s room where the three lay cuddled up together, Theo laying between the two, feeling safe and content. They watch movies and trade small kisses until it starts getting late. They get changed for bed and then find themselves back in Derek’s bed where they fall asleep wrapped around each other.

Theo wakes up with a jolt, his mind racing as yet another idea races through his head. He needs to write it down but when he tries to move both Stiles and Derek groan, wrapping their arms tighter around him.

“Go back to sleep,” Stiles mutters. “It’s too early.”

“But I had an idea,” Theo says, “and I need to write it down before I forget it.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Derek sighs, then he shifts a bit until Theo finds a notebook and a pen placed in his hands.

Theo quickly writes, trying to get the idea down but not wanting to spiral too much. It’s easier said than done. His mind is a mess and he knows when it wants something to happen there’s almost no stopping it.

“Please tell me you’re not writing the entire fic out,” Derek says.

“Of course not,” Theo says, continuing to write, “I just need to get all this down.”

“He’s totally writing the whole fic,” Stiles mutters. “Or at least most of it.”

“Like you guys have any room to talk,” Theo says, his hand stilling as his thoughts slow. “You’re both guilty of spiraling. Especially you Derek.”

“You both are the worst,” Stiles says. “I try to bring happiness into the world and you two just want to talk about angst and death.”

“You know last night was the first time we talked about death,” Theo tells him.

“And we all know it’s going to get worse from there,” Stiles says. “Just you wait.”

Theo tries to brush it off. This is just a one-time thing. So far it’s just an idea, nothing more.

When Theo gets home he starts working on yet another chapter of his fic. He’s pretty proud of it, he has to say. When he first started it he had no idea it would become anywhere near what it is now. It also deals with some issues that are pretty personal to him, which is probably why it’s so important to him. He has a story he needs to tell and this is his way of doing that. Though he does admit he can get a bit out of hand when it comes to writing. It’s a bit of an addiction.

He does not eat. He does not drink. He does not rest. All Theo does is type. The next word, the next sentence, the next paragraph, until it turns into the next update of his fanfiction. He knows he has readers. The hits count goes up, therefore there must be readers. But the readers do not leave kudos. The readers do not leave comments. Nobody acknowledges his work except for the slow but steady increase in hits. ' _I'll show them_ ,' he thinks as he types away furiously at his keyboard. His shoulders are hunched. His eyes are wide, manic. He makes a typo but does not fix it. He no longer cares. ' _Nobody wants to comment on my fic? Let's see how they feel now that I've caught a case of **The Murderz**_ '

He knows by this point he’s probably lost it a little bit, and maybe Stiles had been right when he said it was only going to get worse. Not that he’ll tell him that. And yeah he might be a little bit spiteful as he’s writing this, but it’s deserving. At least that’s what he tells himself. And he has Derek there spiraling right along with him. It can’t be that bad if Derek supports it, right?

But then he posts the death fic. He sits there, waiting with bated breath to see if people will read it. He started with a smaller pairing, just wanting to test the waters. The first person to read it and comment on it is one of his old readers that he hasn’t heard from in a while. It’s a little surprising, to be honest. But he definitely appreciates it all the same.

He gets a comment from Stiles, calling him a horror and a homewrecker and he loses it. Stiles has made his feelings about Theo and Derek’s death spiraling abundantly clear and to have him comment like that makes his day a little bit.

Then he gets a comment from Liam. Theo wasn’t expecting it. He knows Liam can be picky about what he reads, so to have him read and comment on this particular fic sends a thrill through him. Especially as he reads over the words. He feels a little bad that he apparently made Liam cry and has to laugh when Liam once again calls him Satan, a nickname he’s given to Theo, Derek, and Isaac. Theo never realized how fitting it was until this particular fic and then all the death ideas that started filling his brain afterwards.

Later that night, he’s sitting in his bed, once again writing. He swears sometimes he doesn’t know how to stop. Every time he tries, he feels guilt over how much he has to write and finds himself going right back to one of his docs. As he’s sitting there, debating what to write he notices the little 1 pop up along with Liam’s picture on discord. He smiles and opens the message.

 **Dunbear2001:** It’s late and you’re still online. What’s the deal?

 **MurderNugget:** You know I can’t sleep.

 **Dunbear2001:** You’re writing again aren’t you?

 **MurderNugget:** …maybe.

 **Dunbear2001:** Please tell me it’s not another death fic.

 **MurderNugget:** I would but then I’d be a liar.

 **Dunbear2001:** You really have a problem.

 **MurderNugget:** I’m more than aware.

 **Dunbear2001:** Then why don’t you stop? Write something fluffy and happy? Return to your old ways.

 **MurderNugget:** I’m afraid my old ways are gone Liam.

 **Dunbear2001:** I don’t believe that for a second. You just need someone to bring your fluff back.

 **MurderNugget:** Are you volunteering?

There’s nothing for a few minutes. Theo stares at the screen, his heart pounding in his chest. Why would he even say something like that? Liam’s probably going to think he’s some sort of creep. He’s about to give up and close out of the browser and hide for the rest of the night when he sees Liam start typing. It’s a series of starts and stops before a message finally appears.

 **Dunbear2001:** What does that even mean?

 **MurderNugget:** I don’t know. It sounded good when I said it.

He adds the see no evil monkey emoji for good measure.

 **Dunbear2001:** *eye roll emoji*

 **Dunbear2001:** You’re ridiculous.

 **MurderNugget:** Yet you talk to me anyway.

 **Dunbear2001:** Maybe I just like ridiculous people.

Theo tries not to react to the words. The last thing he needs to do is freak out and say something stupid to Liam. Which is exactly what he does.

 **MurderNugget:** I’d hope so. It’d be a pity if you didn’t like yourself.

 **Dunbear2001:** You’re such an asshole.

Theo just smiles, his head falling back onto the pillow. He sighs when an arm wraps around his waist and a bearded cheek nuzzles into his neck.

“Talking to Liam?” Derek asks.

“Yeah,” Theo says.

“When are you just going to admit that you have feelings for him?” Derek asks. Theo tenses and Derek sighs. “Theo it’s okay. We agreed when we started this it wasn’t anything serious. And I’m not about to stop it if you don’t want to. But I need you to know that whenever you want to, whenever you’re ready to finally let go and accept you want to be with Liam, that it’s okay.”

“I know it is,” Theo tells him. “It’s just not that easy. Liam lives on the other side of the country.”

“I know,” Derek says. “And the long distance would suck. But don’t you think he’s worth it?”

“Of course he is,” Theo says, his voice firm. “But he might not even be interested. And even if he is there’s no way in knowing if he’d be okay with something long distance.”

“There is a way of knowing,” Derek tells him. “It’s called using your words.”

Theo groans, hiding his face in the arm Derek has under his head. “Words are hard.”

He can feel Derek’s smile against his throat, “Obviously. If they weren’t everyone would be experts at writing and speaking.”

“Fair enough,” Theo says. He turns in Derek’s arms until he’s facing him. “I know you’re right but I’m not ready yet.”

Derek nods and leans in, placing a soft kiss to his lips. “Whenever you are, you just have to tell us. We’ll understand.”

“Tell us what?” Stiles asks, walking into the room with a tray of drinks. “That he’s ready to pull his head out of his ass and admit that he’s in love with Liam?”

Theo makes an indignant squawk as he attempts to sit up in bed, “I’m not in love with him! We’ve only been talking a few months! And that’s not…”

Derek sighs and pulls him back down, “Relax. He was just messing with you.”

Stiles smirks and grabs one of the mugs, handing it to Theo, “Maybe a little bit. Now drink up buttercup, you don’t want you hot chocolate to get cold.”

Theo moves until he’s sitting up with his back against the pillows and takes a drink of the hot chocolate. He closes his eyes as the warm liquid fills his mouth. Stiles always makes the best hot chocolate.

He looks to his left to see Stiles on Derek’s other side, teasing Derek with a marshmallow before dropping it into his mouth. Theo smiles as he takes another sip of his drink. There has to be something more there, whether they’ve admitted it or not.

Theo curls into Derek’s side when Derek pulls him closer, sipping his drink as Stiles pulls up Star Wars. Eventually Stiles falls asleep watching the movie. Theo can hear his quiet snores. He looks over to see Derek carding a hand through his hair, a soft smile on his face.

“How long?” Theo asks.

Derek’s eyes snap in his direction. Theo watches as a storm of emotions cross his face before settling on resignation. “A few years.”

“Does he know?”

Derek shakes his head, “No. At least not that I know of.”

“Then why not tell him?” Theo asks. “I mean it’s obvious you love him. And he must feel the same way…”

“He doesn’t,” Derek says. “Sure, he’s fine with the physical stuff but I heard him saying before this even started that he doesn’t do relationships and that emotions are messy. If I told him it would just ruin things. I’d rather have him in my life like this then tell him and risk losing him.”

“Yeah,” Theo says, his eyes moving to where the movie is still playing. Thoughts of Liam flash through his mind. “I get that.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that,” Derek says.

Theo’s gaze moves back to Derek, “it doesn’t have to for you either.”

“Maybe not,” Derek says, “but for now I’m happy with what we have. It’s nice.”

Theo chuckles, “When did our lives become some sort of angsty pining fanfiction?”

Derek’s lips twitch up into a smile, “Who the hell knows.”

Theo’s eyes move down to Stiles, checking that he’s still asleep before he moves closer to Derek, making sure to keep his voice low, “Speaking of angsty fanfiction…”

“I love how you left out the pining,” Derek says.

Theo shrugs, “Well there will be pining, just for someone to not be dead.”

Theo can see Derek is fighting the urge to smile, one he quickly loses, “That’s… okay. You might as well just tell me.”

And Theo does. He talks quietly, telling Derek all about the latest fic he’s working on. At some point they slip out of bed and head into the living room where Theo grabs his laptop and pulls the fic up. Together they sit there, shoulder to shoulder as they work on their fics, occasionally talking and exchanging ideas, every now and then a few kisses.

Writing angst and death becomes an addiction. He has people telling him to stop but he can’t. He just keeps spiraling and dragging Derek along with him, all the while Isaac and Stiles are giving him eyes and letting him know their disapproval. Liam does too. But it feels different coming from him. Sometimes he’s sure it’s just him messing around. Theo isn’t sure if it would matter if it wasn’t. He’s far too gone done this path for it to matter. Long gone are the days where he only wrote fluffy one shots. He did his time with that. Now it’s time for something else. The readers are scarce anyway. He might as well write what he feels like. And if that’s death and misery, then so be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Also, have to give credit to the murderz paragraph to Cal. Who is awesome, and wrote something so relatable.


	2. Chapter 2

Liam never expects to start writing. He’s perfectly content with reading the amazing fics people post and screaming at them in the comments. He’s also pretty fond of convincing people to write them. Yes it’s convincing and not bullying, no matter what anyone on the Leddy Discord says.

Even when he writes his first fic he never expects it to happen often. Writing just the one fic took him ages. He’s not sure he wants to go through that again. Except he does. And he keeps doing it. Sure, it’s not as often as other people write and he’d hardly call himself an author but he definitely has words out there.

He’s also pretty immune to any bullying the others try to do. Which he’s glad for. The last thing he ever wants is to be like Theo and have almost 100 WIPs. He loves that Theo does because it means more words, and at the rate Theo writes he expects they’ll be done sooner rather than later.

But he can still tell Theo is stressed, and it makes him feel a little guilty. He doesn’t want Theo to be stressed. He wants Theo to be happy, but also writing Leddy so he can have more of his wonderful words. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like to mess with him and try to get him to take on more prompts.

 **MurderNugget:** I'm just trying to give myself a break here. Having almost 100 fics is stressful you guys.

 **Dunbear2001:** I don't understand why. It's not even 100.

 **MurderNugget:** You get into the 90's and to the point where you can't remember half the fics in your docs and you'll see

 **Dunbear2001:** No thanks. We’ll leave all that to you.

 **QueenLydia:** You know there’s an easy solution to this right?

 **MurderNugget:** I swear if you tell me not to take prompts…

 **QueenLydia:** You don’t even _take_ prompts anymore. You prompt yourself. And spiral. Which you could always stop. But that wasn’t what I was going to tell you.

 **MurderNugget:** I’m almost afraid to ask,

 **QueenLydia:** You could always just get rid of some of your docs.

 **Dunbear2001:**   

 **Dunebear2001:** How dare you? Don’t listen to her Theo. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

 **MrMischief:** She’s not wrong though. I got rid of like 20 docs and I feel great.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Same. It’s so freeing.

 **Dunbear2001:** What? Stiles? Derek? What do you mean you got rid of words?

 **McCallMeScotty:** We need both of your words! Why would you erase them?

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:**

**Dunbear2001:** That is not an answer Derek!

Liam really cannot believe Derek and Stiles would get rid of docs. It’s horrible. At least Theo would never betray him like this, even if he has been on a killing spree. As long as it’s characters and not words he’s fine.

 **MurderNugget:** You know they’re right.

 **Dunbear2001:** Theo

 **Dunbear2001:** Please no

 **MurderNugget:** I just got rid of 10 docs.

 **Dunbear2001:** Theo! How could you?

 **MurderNugget:** Relax, they’re just in my other prompts doc. They still exist. Just not in a real, threatening “you need to write me now” form.

 **Dunbear2001:** This is still not acceptable

 **Dunbear2001:** Wait

 **Dunbear2001:** Tell me none of the docs were Leddy?

 **Dunbear2001:** Theo?

 **MurderNugget:** I’m sorry, the old Theo can’t come to the phone right now.

 **InvisibleMan:** Why?

 **MurderNugget:** Cause he’s dead.

 **Freezerburn:** Ba dum tss

Liam shakes his head, both at the bad joke and Isaac randomly popping in like he always does only to retreat again. He goes back to the direct message he has with Theo. If Theo won’t take him seriously on the Leddy Discord he’ll have to engage in a one on one battle.

 **Dunbear2001:** You know you never answered my question

 **MurderNugget:** Did you miss the part about me being dead?

 **Dunbear2001:** You’re not funny

 **Dunbear2001:** Seriously Theo, did you get rid of Leddy?

 **MurderNugget:** Relax pup, your Leddy words are safe.

Liam groans at the nickname, even as a smile appears on his face. It’s only because of the Leddy, it has nothing to do with Theo. None at all. Liam clicks back over to the Discord and sees that Stiles is having a conversation with Lydia, Allison, and Corey about slang in his fics and worrying about his dialogue being informal and hard to read. Liam can’t resist jumping in.

 **Dunbear2001:** I can't read fics with informal grammar, sorry Stiles.

 **MurderNugget:**   

Liam rolls his eyes when all Theo does is respond with emoji’s, his lips twitching up into a smile as he types out a response.

 **Dunbear2001** : Why are you following me?

 **MurderNugget:** I live here

Liam snorts at that, not the least bit surprised by Theo’s comeback.

 **Dunbear2001:** True. We're kinda roommates

 **ImOnlyHuman:** oh my god they were roommates!

Liam is about to tell Mason to fuck off, but he stops, sentence halfway typed out. He knows what Mason was hinting at, of course he does. He’s seen the posts floating around on Tumblr. Hell, he’s even reblogged a few. But this is real life. He’s not part of some TV show. He’s not in love with Theo or anything. He just likes to talk to him, and feels weird if he goes most of the day without doing it. So what if the best part of his day is talking to Theo? That doesn’t mean anything. Theo’s just a great guy. Someone that makes me laugh and is ridiculously hot and makes his stomach swoop whenever he talks to him. And his voice…

 _Oh. Oh shit._ He likes Theo. After all these months of talking to him he’s fallen for him.

Liam picks up his phone with shaking hands and hits call as he stands up from his desk and starts pacing around his room. He waits impatiently for Mason to pick up, only to groan in frustration when he doesn’t and the phone goes to voicemail. What the hell is he doing? He’s online talking to people? Why isn’t he answering?

 _He probably has his headphones in_ , he thinks.

Sighing, Liam pulls up his direct message with Mason and sends a message saying “ANSWER YOUR PHONE!” in all caps. He hits call again and the phone only rings twice before Mason answers.

“Dude,” Mason says, “What the hell? I thought you died when you stopped typing…”

“I think I’m in love with Theo!” Liam blurts out, unable to wait for Mason to stop speaking.

There’s a beat of silence in which Mason is silent. The room is silent. Hell the whole world is silent. There is no noise except for both of their breathing through the line as Liam waits for Mason’s reply.

"It's about time you figured it out,” Mason finally says after what feels like an eternity but in what is probably only less than a minute. “That’s awesome dude.”

“What?” Liam asks, stopping in his pacing. “What do you mean _‘that’s awesome?_ ’ And wait, you’ve _known_? For how long?”

“Bro you’re pretty obvious when you like someone, it wasn’t hard to figure it out. I was just waiting for you to realize it,” Mason says. “And it’s awesome because now you can tell him and be happy.”

“I can’t tell him!” Liam all but shouts, “Mason are you crazy? Why would I tell him?

“Because you like him,” Mason says slowly, “I don’t see what the problem is.”

“The problem is that he lives on the other side of the country. The problem is that he clearly doesn’t see me like that. The problem is that he has some relationship going on with both Derek and Stiles so like hell is he going to be interested in someone like me. The problem is that while I might be in love with him there is not a chance in hell that he could ever love me!”

Liam’s panting by the end of it, fully aware that he was also shouting. He groans when his Mom shouts up to him from downstairs, “Liam sweetheart, are you alright?”

“Fine Mom!” He shouts back, “I’m just talking to Mason, we’re playing a game.”

“Alright sweetie,” Jenna says, “Dinner will be done in half an hour.”

“Okay thanks Mom!”

Liam turns back to his phone to hear Mason breathing out a quiet, “Intense.”

Which is one word for it. He’s screwed. Completely and totally screwed. He just hopes Mason will let it go. But of course he doesn’t. He’s convinced Liam is wrong and that Theo likes him and that they belong together. He tries to tell Liam that he himself hasn’t exactly been subtle about his feelings for Theo.

Mason doesn’t exactly have room to talk about anything though. He totally has a thing for Corey. Granted neither of them are exactly hiding it. They’re far too obvious about the whole thing. What’s even better is that Corey actually lives nearby. So when they finally do start dating they can see each other.

Liam needs that to happen soon. Maybe focusing on his own love life will help get Mason to back off Liam about his. Still, he can definitely use Mason’s attention to his advantage.

“Let’s go out tonight,” Liam says.

“Sure, where?” Mason asks.

Liam thinks for a minute before replying, “Sinema? I definitely need to drink, dance, and unwind.”

Mason doesn’t even hesitate before agreeing, “Sounds good. Can I invite Corey?”

“Sure. It’s about time I get to meet him. Meet there about 10?”

“Fine by me. See you there bro.”

Liam hangs up and heads downstairs, deciding he might as well see if his Mom needs help with dinner. She’s at the stove when he walks into the kitchen, and turns her head when his heavy footsteps enter the room.

“Liam,” Jenna says, smiling over at him, “Dinner’s about done.”

Liam nods and walks over to her, “Need help with anything?”

“You could set the table?” She asks, “David will be home soon so set it for three.”

“Sure,” Liam says, making his way over to the cabinets. He grabs the plates and brings them to the table before doing the same for the silverware, napkins, and cups. By the time he’s done his mom has dinner finished and is placing it in the middle of the table. Liam grabs one of the bowls of food and brings in to the table while Jenna grabs drinks out of the fridge.

Liam knows he’s unusually quiet at dinner. He can tell his parents notice by the looks they give him and each other. He hopes this will be one of the things they drop, but no such luck.

“Is something bothering you sweetheart?” Jenna asks.

Liam wants to say no but he can’t. He’s never been able to lie to his mom, not about anything that matters. But he still doesn’t want to worry her. “It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t seem like nothing son,” David says, “You’ve been glaring down at your pasta all night, and you love pasta.”

“Is it a girl?” Jenna asks and Liam shakes his head. “A boy?”

Liam sits back in his seat, “Yeah it’s a boy.”

“Do we know him?” Jenna asks.

Liam shakes his head, “No he doesn’t live around here. He lives in Florida.”

“I see,” David says, “So it’s a long distance thing?”

“It’s not even a thing,” Liam mutters, “I just realized I like him, but he lives far away and as far as I know he’s seeing people.”

“People?” David asks, his brow furrowing.

“Yeah it’s… I don’t know how to explain it. But there are two people who live near him and as far as I know they spend a lot of time together and might be sleeping together.”

“Well as long as they’re all on the same page,” Jenna says, “there’s nothing wrong with it. I was in a poly relationship once upon a time.”

“You were?” Liam asks, feeling a little shocked to say the least.

Jenna nods, “I was. It was nice and they were amazing people. They’re married now, of course. And have kids. But just think, you and Mason could have possibly been brothers.”

Liam starts coughing, the sip of water he’d been drinking going down the wrong way. He wheezes a bit as he stares at his Mom. She just smiles at him. When he gets himself under control he manages to get out a high pitched, “You were in a relationship with Mason’s parents?”

“Well yes,” Jenna says, “That’s why we’re so close.”

“Did you know this?” Liam asks, turning to look at his dad.

David nods, “Of course I did. They invited me in at one time.”

“Oh my god,” Liam mutters, “I can’t believe this. Does Mason know?”

Jenna shrugs, “I’m not sure. Though I’m sure he would have told you by now if he did.”

Liam can’t deny that. He wants to call Mason right away and tell him what he just found out so they can freak out about it together. But he’ll be seeing him in a few hours so he makes himself wait.

“We’re not going to push you to talk about whatever this is,” his mom tells him, “but just know that we are here if you need us.”

Liam smiles at them both, “Thanks Mom. Dad.”

“Anytime son,” David says, giving Liam a reassuring smile.

He finishes dinner and then heads upstairs to his room. He messes around on Tumblr for a bit and chats on Discord with Mason. He’s not sure why they always talk on there when they can easily text. Maybe because Mason know he practically lives on there so there’s a chance of getting ahold of him.

After a while he showers and then starts getting ready. It’s been a long time since he went out. Not since he came back from college about a month ago. Despite being 21, it’s still been weird to think about going out and drinking while currently living with his parents. He knows they have no illusions about what he got up to in college but still. It’s one thing to do it at college a few hours away, but a completely different thing to do it while living under their roof. Tonight he’s making an exception.

He heads to Sinema a little before 10. He doesn’t live far from the bar so he gets there with a couple minutes to spare. He spots Mason outside. His back is to the wall while a taller man stands in front of him, his elbows resting on either side of Mason’s head as he leans in close to him. Mason is smiling at whatever he’s saying. Liam knows the moment he spots him because his eyes widen and he leans in to whisper something in the man's ear, who then steps back and turns to Liam as he steps up to them.

“Hey Mase.”

“Hey Li,” Mason says, grinning over at him, “This is Corey.”

 _Ah,_ Liam thinks, recognizing the man from the pictures he’s seen a lot better now that he’s close up.

“Hey,” Liam says, waving over at him. “It’s nice to finally meet the man Mason can’t shut up about.”

“Liam you two know each other,” Mason points out, “You talk online.”

“Yeah I know that,” Liam says, “But this is still the first time we’re meeting in person.”

“It is,” Corey says, giving him a small smile. “It’s nice to meet you two,” he looks back at Mason for a moment before turning his attention to Liam. He takes his arm and leads him towards the door of the club, “Now tell me more about how Mason can’t shut up about me.”

“Hey!” Mason shouts, running to catch up to them. “There will be none of that.”

“We’re just getting to know each other,” Corey tells him.

“You do know each other know,” Mason groans. “This is more you two gossiping about us. Me. About me.”

Corey smirks over at him, “I think you had it right the first time, don’t you?”

“Us?” Mason asks. “There’s an us?”

Corey nods, hooking his other arm through Mason’s, “Well I want there to be, and I thought we were on the same page.”

Mason nods, his head bobbing up and down a few times in quick succession, “Yeah. Yeah! We’re definitely on the same page.”

“Well thank god for that,” Liam mutters as they walk into the club. “I definitely wouldn’t have heard the end of it if you didn’t want to date him.”

Corey shoots him a grin before looking back to Mason, “Oh I definitely want to date him,” he lets go of Liam’s arm in favor of grabbing both of Mason’s hands, “but right now I want to dance.”

Liam watches as Corey backs them towards the dancefloor and the two start dancing. He shakes his head before making his way towards the bar and ordering a drink. He only plans to have one but one turns into two turns into four and then he can’t remember how many he’s had. All he knows is he feels light and his head is fuzzy and he just wants to talk to Theo.

He brings out his phone, frowning down at it when the screen blurs slightly. He smiles when he sees the green dot next to Theo’s name. He’s online. Perfect. Now he can finally know. He starts typing without even thinking about what he’s doing. All he knows is that he needs to do this before he thinks better of it. He types the words and hits send, giving a triumphant nod of his head. Mason is at his side a moment later, his eyes wide as he stares at Liam and the phone in his hand.

“I knew I should have taken your phone,” He sighs while Corey looks torn between looking concerned and pleased.

Mason waves down the bartender and orders a couple waters, one of which he thrusts into Liam’s hands and orders him to drink. Liam does. He doesn’t like it but he drinks it anyway. He can feel his head start to clear a little bit after the first glass. Mason then hands him a second one, telling him to drink this one more slowly so he doesn’t overdo it. Liam just nods.

“Have you realized what you did yet?” Mason asks him.

Liam just blinks at him. He doesn’t understand. All he did was gush about how cute Theo is on the Discord. But he needed Theo and everyone else to know. And oh… yeah. He looks down at his phone and cringes. Shit. He deletes the message, hoping no one saw it, especially not Theo.

Not knowing that across the country Theo is staring down at a screenshot Derek has on his phone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And back to Theo. This one got a little angsty

Theo’s heart thuds in his chest as he stares down at the screen. The words not computing with his tired brain, but there all the same.

 **Dunbear2001:** Theo is so cute. It's unfair. I just want to cuddle him and kiss him and protect him from the world. Cause he deserves it.

Theo pulls his own phone out, preparing to look at the message there for himself but Derek shakes his head, “Don’t bother. It’s gone. He deleted it within 5 minutes.”

“He deleted it?” Theo asks.

Derek nods, “Yeah. It’s gone. But I screenshot it just in case so that you’d see it.”

“But why would he delete it?”

Theo’s knees hit the edge of the bed and he sits down heavily. Derek sits down next to him. Stiles comes in a moment later with a glass of hot chocolate, which he hands to Theo after taking his phone. He puts the phone aside before sitting down next to him.

“Because he’s a coward,” Stiles grits out, anger in his voice.

Derek sighs, “Stiles…”

Stiles holds a hand up, pointing a finger at Derek, “No, he is. He had to get drunk to say something. And then probably realized what he did and chickened out so he deleted it, thinking that because no one said anything that no one saw it. Well he was fucking wrong. And I’m going to give that little bastard a piece of my mind.”

“No,” Theo says, his voice quiet. He clears his throat and tries again, this time louder. “No. Don’t say anything. If he wants to pretend it didn’t happen, let him.”

“Theo…”

Theo shakes his head, “No. just let it go. He clearly regrets what he said. Or he didn’t really mean it. Or someone else did it to mess with him and he felt weird about it. None of which are good options. Because either way he took it down. He didn’t mean it. So just spare me any other misery.”

Derek wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him close. He places a kiss to the top of his head before letting his lips linger there. “Whatever you want. We’re here, whatever you need.”

“I kind of just feel like cuddling,” Theo mumbles, taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

“Good, cause we’re going to cuddle the shit out of you,” Stiles tells him.

Normally Theo would have some smart reply to that, but he doesn’t feel like it tonight. So he just nods, letting Stiles and Derek arrange him on the bed once he’s finished his hot chocolate. He winds up between them, his head resting on Stiles’ stomach while he cards a hand through Theo’s hair. Derek has an arm slug across Theo’s waist and his face tucked against his neck.

“It’s okay if you want to cry,” Derek tells him.

Theo wants to tell him no, he doesn’t want to cry. But the reality is that he’s been fighting the urge ever since he found out Liam deleted the message. All the thoughts of _why_ swirling through his brain, each one worse than the last.

He buries his face in Stiles’ shirt as hot tears spill from his eyes and his shoulders shake. Derek’s arms tighten around him as he whispers in his ear, “It’s okay. We’ve got you.”

Stiles’ hand is gentle as it moves through his hair but he remains silent. It’s weird that in moments like these Stiles is the one to be a calm and reassuring presence, offering comfort through his actions rather than words. Theo thinks he gets it. He’s never sure of the right things to say when someone is hurting. It’s usually when he attempts to lighten the mood and diffuse the tension, which Stiles has been known to do. Right now, Stiles is just _here_ , and that’s enough for Theo.

Derek is the one offering reassurances and telling Theo how much he’s cared for as he places soft kisses across his neck and face. His body is covering Theo’s almost like a shield, protecting him from the pain of the rest of the world.

They’re both there in their own way, offering up care and support and allowing him to work through his emotions. Not for the first time Theo is grateful he has them both.

***

Theo goes home the next morning feeling a little better about the whole thing. Having Derek and Stiles around had definitely helped him. But now he’s back in his apartment and he’s alone. He sits on his bed, his laptop open in front of him. He goes right to his docs planning to find something to write. Almost instantly he opens up Discord. He feels his heart speed up when he sees he has a message from Liam. Part of him wants to hope it’s an explanation or any acknowledgement for what he said. Another part is afraid of him just having some excuse and apology for it. What he gets is neither.

 **Dunbear2001:** I’m soooo hungover

 **MurderNugget:** That’s what happens when you don’t drink water

 **Dunbear2001:** But I don’t like water

 **MurderNugget:** Neither do I, but I still drink at least a glass before bed when I drink otherwise I know I’ll be suffering a whole lot more the next day. Kind of like you are now 

 **Dunbear2001:** You’re the worst. I come to you for sympathy and you’re being a jerk.

Theo feels something unpleasant spread through him. Anger maybe? He tries to tamp it down. He doesn’t want to be angry at Liam. He has no real reason to. Hurt? Well yeah he’s hurt. How could he not be? Liam had made the post and then deleted it and now seems to want to forget it ever happened.

 _Unless he did forget,_ he thinks, _he drank a lot last night._

 **MurderNugget:** If you want sympathy go to Mason.

 **Dunbear2001:** Mason just laughed at me on the phone and told me it was my own fault. And that I’d have to get my own burger because he’s busy with Corey. I also think it’s revenge for me telling him our parents used to be in a poly relationship. He sounded pretty traumatized.

Theo is curious about that last part but chooses not to comment on it right now. He’s more focused on Mason and Corey.

 **MurderNugget:** So Mason and Corey finally happened then?

 **Dunbear2001:** Oh yeah! Almost as soon as we got to the club. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other all night.

 **MurderNugget:** But they apparently could keep their eyes off of you if you were able to drink as much as you did.

 **Dunbear2001:** I’m old enough to take care of myself Theo.

 **MurderNugget:** Apparently not, if your hangover is anything to go by

 **Dunbear2001:** What is with you? You’re being snippier than usual today.

Theo sighs. He’s not meaning to be. Not really.

 **MurderNugget:** Sorry, I’m just stressed. I probably should avoid communication today. Hope you feel better.

He goes offline before Liam can say anything else. Liam does start typing something but then he stops. A few moments later he’s talking to Scott in gen chat and that’s that. Theo isn’t sure whether he’s relieved that Liam let it go so easily.

After that he decides he should go see Parrish. It’s been a while since they’ve seen each other since Jordan works a lot and Theo has been a bit of a recluse with his writing when he’s not with Derek and Stiles. He needs a break from the internet today, but more than that he just misses his friend. It’s not fair that Derek gets to see Parrish more than he does since the two work together. Which had also been a surprise.

Things in his life are more connected than he ever thought they were. Not that he’s complaining. It’s nice that Jordan knows his… well whatever Derek and Stiles are. They’re not boyfriends, but they’re not friends either. He tries not to think too much about it. They’re together and having fun and they care about each other. They all have a mutual understanding. That’s what matters. At least to them.

“So explain to me how this works again?” Jordan asks, from his spot at the top of his bed.

Theo sighs, putting the book he was holding down and looking at Jordan, “I’ve explained it at least 5 times.”

“So basically you’re in love with Liam but you’re screwing Stiles and Derek,” Jordan says. “Right?”

“Why did you have to say screwing?” Theo asks, wrinkling up his nose.

“Theo…”

“Look it’s just… we hang out and spend a lot of time together and sometimes we have sex,” Theo says, “That’s all.”

“All 3 of you all the time? Or do you sometimes just hook up with one or the other?” Jordan questions.

“Does it matter?”

Jordan shrugs, “Probably not. But I’m still curious. Especially about Liam.”

“There’s nothing between me and Liam,” Theo mutters.

“But you want there to be,” Jordan points out.

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Theo snaps, “He’s made it perfectly clear that he’s not interested.”

“Wouldn’t you say that you have too?”

“What?”

“Well you’re sleeping with Stiles and Derek,” Jordan says. “And I’m guessing Liam knows that? So unless you’ve explicitly said otherwise he probably assumes you’re unavailable”

Theo just shakes his head, “It’s… look just drop it okay. I have it all handled.”

“Sure you do,” Jordan says. “I’ll just be waiting with wine and ice cream when this all blows up in your face and you get your heart broken, shall I?”

“God you’re an asshole,” Theo mutters. “Why are you my best friend again?”

“I’m just trying to look out for you Theo,” Jordan says. “I know you think you can handle this but it seems a bit more complicated than you’d like to believe. And things like this never end well.”

“I’ll be fine,” Theo tells him. “And if it all goes to shit you can gloat all you want.”

“Sure, I’ll be gloating while you’re crying on my shoulder.”

“Whatever,” Theo says, “Let’s go do something.”

They wind up at the movies, Jordan saying he hasn’t had a chance to go in a while so he feels out of the loop. Theo doesn’t pay much attention to what they’re seeing, other than it’s some action movie. It’ll be a good distraction at least. Or he hopes. They’re in line to get concessions when Theo hears a familiar laugh from a few lines down. Looking over, he sees Stiles and Derek there. Stiles is laughing at something Derek says while he leans on him for support.

 _They look happy,_ Theo thinks, _why the hell aren’t they really together?_

Theo turns away, facing the front of the line again and feels eyes on him. He looks over to see Jordan watching him, an unreadable look on his face, “Aren’t you going to say hello?”

Theo shakes his head, “Nah. I see them often enough. I don’t want to interrupt their moment.”

“But…”

“It’s fine Jordan,” Theo says, “Now go order your popcorn.”

Jordan doesn’t look convinced but he steps up to the counter to order their snacks. Theo glances over to see Derek and Stiles kissing softly and smiles before turning away. Maybe things are looking up for them at least.

He’s walking towards the napkins and straws when he hears a shout and then there’s a body pressed to his back. “What the hell dude?” Stiles says in his ear. “Did you not see us?”

“I did,” Theo says, looking over at Derek since he can’t quite see Stiles like this. He tries to convey with his eyes what his intentions were. “I just didn’t want to interrupt.”

Stiles swats his shoulder as he pulls back, “You would not have been interrupting idiot. We always want to see you.”

Theo just shrugs. He’s not sure what he can say that wouldn’t be _“I wanted to give Derek time alone with you.”_

“Jordan,” Derek says, sparing Theo from having to explain himself. “Good to see you man.”

“We see each other at least 4 times a week,” Jordan points out, smiling over at Derek. “But it’s nice to see you in something other than that uniform.”

“I love that uniform,” Stiles mutters.

Theo has to hide his smile when Derek’s face heats up. Jordan just winks at Stiles, “Who doesn’t?”

“So what are you guys seeing?” Derek asks, clearly wanting to change the subject.

Jordan tells them the movie and Stiles’ face lights up, “No way! We are too! I’ve been wanting to see this for months. We should watch it together.”

Jordan and Stiles start talking about the movie and what they hope happens as they walk off towards the theater, leaving Derek and Theo behind. Theo turns to Derek, giving him an apologetic smile, “Sorry. I tried.”

Derek shakes his head, his lips twitching up into a small smile as he puts an arm around Theo’s shoulders and leads him toward the theater. “I know you did. And it would have been nice to have some alone time with him, but I am no way complaining about getting to see you.”

Theo smiles, leaning into Derek, “Me either.”

Theo can tell Derek wants to say something. He keeps taking a breath as if he’s about to speak only to close his mouth. Theo sighs, “It’s alright, you can ask about him.”

Derek doesn’t even bother to deny that’s what was wanting to talk about. He just gets right to it. “Did you talk to Liam?”

“I did.”

“And? How did it go?”

“He said he was hungover,” Theo tells him. “And told me about Mason and Corey. And then wanted sympathy for his hangover. I may have snapped at him. I didn’t mean to. I just…”

“It’s alright Theo,” Derek says, rubbing a hand down his arm. “You’re allowed to be upset about what happened.”

“But I shouldn’t be angry at him,” Theo says. “He might not even remember what happened. And even if he did, I can’t get angry at him for not having feelings for me. That’s just… it’s not fair.”

“It’s a complicated situation,” Derek agrees.

“You can say that again,” Theo mutters, looking over to where Jordan and Stiles are sitting in their recliners. They clearly plan to sit next to each other. Which is fine. They’re probably the two most excited about this movie. Theo lets Derek in first, allowing him to have the seat next to Stiles, while he sits next to Derek. He looks over and sees Jordan shaking his head but ignores him, settling in to watch the movie. He smiles when he looks over during the movie and see Derek has his arm around Stiles while Stiles’ head is on his shoulder. At least something seems to be working out.

***

The weeks pass and nothing really changes. He still sees Stiles and Derek, though not as much as he had been. But even when they’re not together they still talk. He tries to tell himself that’s enough. Other than that he’s just always writing, even at work he can’t seem to stop. Not that it matters. He started working at the library and all he usually has to do is help people check out books and re-shelve them, and from time to time help someone find a book. He loves it though. It’s nice. It just gives him a lot of downtime to write.

Sometimes Theo does wonder why he bothers so much. It feels like people want his words but often times it’s as if he’s screaming into the void just begging for someone to listen. Theo’s tired. He’s tired of writing so much and the things he’s most proud of and spent the most time on getting hardly any recognition, while the things he writes in minutes and puts minimal effort into get loads more kudos and comments. He’ll never understand it.

Sometimes he feels like giving up. Maybe not stopping writing altogether, because he doubts he could, but just not putting it out there. He’s screaming into the void anyway. The void can’t miss his words. Other times he worries that maybe he’s just not that good at writing. Sure, he writes fast and a lot but that doesn’t mean it’s _good_. And maybe people are realizing that or just don’t like him so they’re not reading, or just not acknowledging that they are. But then he’ll get an amazing comment on one of his fics and it serves as a reminder that at least someone out there is reading. He tries to let that be enough.

But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to complain about it a bit.

 **MurderNugget:** Sometimes I feel like a machine. Or at least that’s how people see me. I just write so much. So of course people just think it’s something I can do easily. I struggle too, ya know? But sometimes I feel like I’m not allowed to. Like I’m just expected to keep writing and not complain about it. But it’s so tiring. Especially when I write something and I love it so much but it feels like no one else cares. Like I can write something and put minimal effort in and get a lot of readers but the things I love and I’m proud of I’m lucky if I get 10 kudos. It’s disheartening.

 **MrMischief:** You do write a lot. And you put more pressure on yourself than anyone else does. You don’t owe anyone anything. People would understand if you need a break. You should come first.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** He’s right, Theo. You won’t do anyone any good if you’re hospitalized for sleep deprivation or starvation.

 **MurderNugget:** I eat.

 **Freezerburn:** Snacks do not count as meals.

 **MrMischief:** And neither does mac and cheese.

 **MurderNugget:** Disney would tell you otherwise.

 **MrMischief:** Disney doesn’t count.

 **MurderNugget:** How dare you?

 **Freezerburn:** Stiles has a point. Disney has to have mac and cheese because they know that most kids will eat it and that’s where the money is at.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** How did we even get on this subject? We were talking about Theo’s writing.

 **MurderNugget:** Theo is done talking about himself now.

 **Freezerburn:** But did this actually solve anything or are you just trying to change the subject?

 **MurderNugget:** No comment.

 **MrMischief:** You remember I know where you live, right? So if you start getting all mopey and down on yourself I’ll just come over and drag your ass out of the house and show you how to have fun.

 **MurderNugget:** Never has the prospect of a good time sounded more threatening.

 **MrMischief:** Derek can tell you I’m telling the truth, I’ve done it to him multiple times.

 **MurderNugget:** Something tells me your efforts didn’t involve leaving the house.

 **MrMischief:** Maybe not. But sometimes all you need is some good old fashioned cuddling from Stiles.

 **Freezerburn:** Even the cuddling sounds threatening coming from you.

 **MrMischief:** You guys are assholes. I’m trying to be nice here.

 **Freezerburn:** I’m suddenly glad I don’t even live in the States anymore.

 **MrMischief:** Rude

 **MrMischief:** ANYWAY can we please talk about the Mets? And how that game was total bullshit?

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Here we go

 **MrMischief:** They should have won Der. You know this. They were robbed.

Theo shakes his head and goes back to his doc. He might have been feeling down on himself a few moments ago but the urge to write is still there. It always is really. It hardly ever goes away. He thinks maybe he’ll just write this one and keep it himself. No one would miss it if they don’t know it exists.

He just wants to go back to a time when it was fun to write. He knows there was one. And sure, sometimes it is. The funny part is, the writing part itself is fine. It can be exciting. It’s the after it’s done and waiting to see if anyone actually reads it that’s not.

Theo also can’t help but feel like sometimes people don’t get excited about anything unless it’s smut. If he’s honest with himself the smut is exhausting and not something he’s 100% comfortable or sure about when it comes to writing. Hell sometimes he’s lucky if he’s at 50%. He used to push himself to do it, thinking he needed to if he wanted people to read his stuff. Now he’s just tired of it. He doesn’t need that pressure.

Nowhere is he knocking smut. He can understand why people love it so much. Smut can be great. Hell, he loves smut. He also knows there’s more to fics than just that. Just like he knows there’s more to relationships than just sex. Even this thing with Derek and Stiles shows him that. They might not be serious but they still care about each other and know that when it comes down to it their feelings come first. None of them ever push for sex. They’re always open and perceptive to what the other two need.

Theo sighs and closes his laptop, falling back against his pillows. He throws an arm across his eyes and closes them. Then he just lays there, trying to keep his mind blank. It doesn’t work. It never does. His thoughts never seem to shut up. It’s why he has so much trouble sleeping. At first he was able to sleep around Derek and Stiles and that helped but lately even that doesn’t help. He’ll find himself wide awake while they’re sleeping peacefully and wind up slipping out of bed and into the living room where he’ll spend hours online or writing or both until he falls asleep on the couch. Mostly because he doesn’t want to wake Derek and Stiles.

Tonight he’s alone and the quiet of his empty apartment is stifling. The only sounds are of the apartment themselves. Even his cat Magnus is being unusually quiet. Though he’s probably off sleeping someplace, having grown tired of Theo shifting constantly.

Theo unlocks his iPad and opens Discord again. Not much is happening at this hour. In fact, nothing is. His fingers hover over the screen, the keyboard up and ready. Then he clicks out of it and puts the iPad aside again. The last three messages are from him anyway. He’s already long passed a suitable annoyance level. By now people are probably just rolling his eyes and thinking, “There he goes again.”

But it’s hard for him to stop. When he’s not writing he’s just alone. That’s the worst thing for him to be sometimes. Sure he longs for the peace at times. But there’s a difference between wanting to be alone and this sort of self-enforced isolation. He’s even withdrawn from Derek and Stiles, wanting to give them a break from his… well everything.

 _There’s always Liam,_ he thinks.

And while that should be true he can’t deny things have been weird between them as well. Ever since that night Liam got drunk. Since then Theo has seen pictures of Liam out with other pretty boys and girls draped over him, their lips pressed to his lips or skin. He knows he shouldn’t be jealous given this thing he has with Stiles and Derek but it’s hard. This has always felt different. He’s always known it was temporary. Fleeting.

The thing that makes this feel worse is that he’s always still wanted Liam. Still loved him. He knows Liam doesn’t want him. He had his proof. Not just from the pictures. But from the fact that Liam was so ashamed about what he said about Theo that he had to erase it.

He lost Liam before he even had him. Just like eventually he’s going to lose Derek and Stiles. Then it’ll just be him. Theo shakes his head. He can’t think about it anymore. It just makes his chest ache. Theo opens his laptop up and brings up his documents. If he can’t sleep, he might as well write. That’s at least one thing he can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a Theo chapter but since it was just too hard for me to dive into right now it took a turn back to Liam. Which was fun to do. Even if some parts go away from me.

Liam knows that something’s going on with Theo. He’s been snippier with him than usual when they talk, and that’s when he’s even online to answer his messages. He doesn’t get it. They’ve always gotten along well before, more than well in fact. Theo’s become one of the people Liam is closest to and that includes Mason. So for him to suddenly start pulling away has him worried.

 _He’s probably just too busy with Derek and Stiles_ , he thinks. He quickly shakes the thought. Even when Theo was with Derek and Stiles they’d somehow wind up on the discord at some point. Except Theo hasn’t. He hasn’t seen him online in days, at least not when Liam is on. He posts sometimes but whenever Liam comes on Theo just disappears. He tries to tell himself it’s not on purpose. Theo is working now. Of course he’d be busy. But something seems off.

When Liam reached out to Derek he’d told him he’d look into it and Stiles had just told him to mind his own damn business. Which is also strange. Sure, Stiles could be a bit of an asshole sometimes but he’s never downright snapped at Liam.

Liam sighs and downs another shot before waving for another one. If he’s going to be out again tonight be might as well try and take the edge off a bit. There’s only so much he can handle of clubs and yet he keeps finding himself here. He dances and he makes out with a few people and does his best to have fun and forget about the ache in his chest. But it only grows with each press of lips to his skin that doesn’t belong to the person he really wants.

He’d even made the mistake of closing his eyes last week and moaning Theo’s name when a dude had been about to blow him in the bathroom. He’d expected anger but all he got was an understanding smile and the dude, whose name he thinks is Zac, had told him to call him if he was ever over the guy. Liam doubts he ever will be. How can you get over someone when you never even had a chance to start anything with them?

His eyes drift across the bar and he notices a blonde guy staring at him. It’s happened a few times he’s been in here but Liam has always shrugged it off. He tries not to think about the fact that all the guys he’s gone for have had darker hair, but maybe that’s been the problem. Maybe he needs something different.

He takes his last shot and then pushes off the bar. He can feel Mason and Corey’s eyes on him but he ignores them. He’s on a mission now. The man smiles when Liam walks up to him. Liam just leans against the wall next to him, close enough that their arms are touching.

“You’ve been watching me,” Liam shouts over the music.

“Glad you finally noticed,” the man shouts back. He holds out his hand towards Liam, “I’m Garrett.”

Liam takes the hand and uses it to pull Garrett in until they’re chest to chest, “Hi Garrett. I’m Liam. Want to have some fun?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Garrett says.

Then there are lips on his. He’s a good kisser, Liam has to admit, doing his best to push out any other thoughts. The only thing he wants to focus on is the man in front of him and the amazing things he’s doing with his tongue. When he pulls back and whispers, “want to get out of here?” in Liam’s ear, Liam can only nod and mutter out a “hell yes,” before allowing himself to be led out of the bar.

Liam’s not surprised when Mason shows up at his house the next day. He’s looking at Liam with a mixture of disapproval and pity, two looks which have no place being directed at him so early in the day.

“What do you want?” Liam groans, burying his face in his pillow.

“Oh I don’t know,” Mason says, “Maybe to make sure my best friend was still alive after he left the club with a stranger last night and then proceeded to not answer any of my calls or texts. I had to call your Mom to make sure you were even home. She was too afraid to check after the noises she heard last night apparently. Which, really Liam? You brought some random dude to hook up here? In the bed in your parent’s house?”

Liam smirks, “We didn’t even make it to the bed.”

“That’s not the point,” Mason hisses, “The point is this behavior isn’t like you. I know you’re doing this as some way to get over Theo but have you ever thought that maybe you don’t even have to?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Liam asks. He sits up and grabs the water and aspirin that are next to his bed. He kind of doesn’t want to know how they got there.

“I’m talking about the possibility that Theo is just as into you as you are him.”

Liam scoffs, “He has a funny way of showing it, you know with the sleeping with Stiles and Derek thing. And then there’s him barely even responding to my messages.”

“He’s going through a hard time,” Mason says, his voice going quiet. “You know he… it doesn’t matter right now. And the thing with Stiles and Derek? That’s not long term. It’s…”

“Why because there’s 3 of them?”

Mason gives him a look that just shouts disapproval, “ _No_. Asshole. I know plenty of people in healthy poly relationships. And this… Stereo thing is healthy in its own way but they’ve…”

“Stereo?” Liam asks, furrowing his brow. “Wait, did you give them a ship name?”

“It’s easier than saying all their names okay,” Mason says, waving him off, “the point is that they agreed early on it wasn’t serious. Like people can do in any relationship.”

“Skipping over how you know so much about their relationship,” Liam says, though he is curious. “Couldn’t they easily fall in love like any other people in just casual relationships do?”

“This isn’t a TV show or movie or fanfiction Liam,” Mason sighs, “Not everyone just up and falls in love with each other.”

He looks like he’s holding something back, “You know you want to say it. So out with it.”

“Derek and Theo _could_ easily fall in love. But even if they do it’s obvious…”

“What? What’s obvious?”

Mason looks torn. Liam can tell he wants to say something but he just sighs and shakes his head, “It’s not my place. Though I wish it was. It is obvious that there’s something serious between Stiles and Derek, and I’m not saying they both wouldn’t readily accept Theo into that because they probably would. But that’s not where this is heading. They’re on different paths. And hopefully Theo’s is going to lead him to you.”

Liam snorts, “Seriously? You think Theo and I are what? Meant to be together?”

“You’re endgame,” Mason says.

“Oh sure,” Liam rolls his eyes, “We’re endgame while he’s on the other side of the country falling in love with Stiles and Derek and I’m stuck here alone.”

“Don’t you dare,” Mason says, a hint of anger in his voice that has Liam flinching. It takes a lot to make Mason angry. “Don’t you dare act like you’re innocent in all of this. You could have had your shot weeks ago if you hadn’t deleted that post Liam. But you did. And now you’re moping about it and acting all _‘woo is me_ ’ when you’re at least halfway responsible for this mess.”

“But he’s dating…”

“And you’re out sleeping with anyone that smiles prettily at you,” Mason says, throwing up his hands in obvious frustration. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed most of the men and even women you’re been with have had similar characteristics. Ones that are all too familiar.”

“Garrett didn’t,” Liam bites out.

Mason sighs and sits on the bed, “There’s nothing wrong with doing the whole casual thing. I’ve done it. What is a problem is that you’re using it as a way to not deal with what you’re feeling. Or if you are it’s… I know you’re hurting Liam. But have you ever stopped to think that you’re not the only one that is?”

“So what? My pain doesn’t matter because I’m sleeping with other people? Well so is Theo!”

“Things would be so much simpler if people would just talk,” Mason mutters.

“I can’t talk to him!” Liam says, his voice going higher as he stares wide eyed at Mason.

Mason shakes his head, “You need to do something.”

Liam sighs, “Maybe I should write a fic about Leo hopelessly pining for Teddy who’s thousands of miles away.”

“Because that wouldn’t be obvious,” Mason mutters, then his head snaps up, an excited twinkle in his eye, “Actually dude you should totally write it!”

“But you just said…”

“I know what I just said and you can forget it,” Mason says. “You have to write it. And put in maximum pining for effect.”

Liam narrows his eyes, “Why are you so excited about this?”

“Because you’re my best friend and I love your writing,” Mason says, “obviously.”

“Obviously,” Liam repeats, but he’s not all that convinced.

“So are you going to write it?” Mason asks.

Liam shrugs, “I think so. I’ve heard writing can be pretty therapeutic.”

“Great,” Mason says, “and I’ll help you with it.”

Liam nods and pulls out his laptop. He opens up his docs and starts jotting down any ideas he has and some that Mason throws his way. He can’t help but get excited about it. When Mason heads downstairs to grabs drinks and snack Liam opens up AO3. He checks his comments and replies to a few before an idea occurs to him. Smiling he signs out of AO3 and then pulls up some of Theo’s fics. He might not be able to say certain things as Liam but he certainly can as someone else.

“What are you doing?” Mason asks, placing a drink down on Liam’s nightstand before laying down on the bed next to him, with a bag of chips and a bowl of popcorn between them.

“Writing some comments,” Liam says, his hands working quickly over the keyboard as he types out his comment.

Mason squints at the screen, “On Theo’s fic?” Liam nods, “Then why aren’t you signed in?”

Liam shrugs, “I’m just not.”

“Let me guess, you’re using an anon comment as a way to tell Theo things you wouldn’t normally tell him?”

“There’s enough negativity out there, he deserves some positive,” Liam says. “I just want him to be happy.”

“So you think it won’t be obvious?” Mason asks.

“Of course not,” Liam says, reading through the comment. “I’m being completely discrete.”

He hits posts and watches as his comments appears on the screen. Beside him Mason snorts, “Sure you are Limabean_Unicorn.”

“It’s not like it would matter if he found out,” Liam says, trying to make himself feel better. He thought the name was clever, but apparently not. “I’m just saying nice things.”

“You are,” Mason agrees, “and he might wonder why you couldn’t just say them and think you’re messing with him.”

“I wouldn’t do that!” Liam says, feeling horrified by the thought.

“Well we’ll just have to wait and see,” Mason says, popping a chip into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. “So what else do you have for the fic?”

“There’s going to be a fic?” Corey asks, popping his head in the door.

Liam looks from Corey to Mason with a raised eyebrow. Mason gives him a sheepish smile, “We were going to hang out but I figured we could all just chill here. If you don’t mind?”

“Of course not,” Liam says, “And it’s not like I’d be enough of an asshole to kick Corey out if I did.”

Liam moves towards the edge of the bed and Mason scoots over, making room for Corey on his other side. He holds up the bowl of popcorn to Corey who happily takes a handful before turning back to Liam, “So the fic?”

“I’m writing one,” Liam says.

“I figured as much,” Corey says, sounding amused, “What about?”

“His undying love for Theo,” Masons says.

“It is not!” Liam says, throwing a chip at Mason who catches it easily in his mouth. “It’s about Leo pining for Teddy who is thousands of miles away.”

Corey looks like he’s trying to fight a smile but doesn’t last very long. A wide smile quickly spreads across his face, “Leo and Teddy huh?”

“Yes _Leo and Teddy_ ,” Liam says, glaring over at his friends. “It’s about them and no one else.”

Corey looks to Mason, “Is he serious right now?”

Mason sighs, “I’m afraid so. It’s hopeless.”

“Stop that,” Liam says, “Nothing is hopeless and this fic is just…”

“A way of expressing your feelings for Theo in writing by using Leo and Teddy?” Corey finishes.

Liam opens his mouth to say something but the words die on his throat when Mason starts flailing, “Dude! Check the discord. The screaming channel!”

Liam clicks over to the Discord tab and goes to the screaming channel like Mason said. There he sees a post from Theo, along with a screencap of his comment.

 **MurderNugget:**       Someone just left this on my Deddy fic. And there are 4 more like it. I can’t deal.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Awww 

 **ImOnlyHuman:** Someone must really love you dude

 **InvisibleMan:** Yeah you must have a secret admirer.

Liam glares over at his two friends, “Seriously?”

Mason shrugs, “What? It’s less obvious if we say something.”

“Which is why you should,” Corey says, then tilts his head. “Or maybe you shouldn’t.”

Liam knows exactly what he’s getting at. Which is exactly why Liam starts typing before he can stop himself.

 **Dunbear2001:** That’s awesome Theo. And well deserved. You’re an amazing writer 

Mason shorts, “Yeah that’s not too obvious.”

Luckily he has a lot of people up reacting his post and other people like Danny, Nolan, and Kira quickly step in to agree.

 **DamnDaniel:** I agree with Liam. Your stuff is amazing Theo.

 **Noooooolan:** ^^^

 **ClumsyVixen:** Even when you’re ripping our hearts out, you’re doing it beautifully.

 **MurderNugget:**   Thanks guys.

 **KissMyPorsche:** Don’t act like you’re surprised when you came in here practically begging for compliments.

 **MrMischief:** Shut up Jackson. You’re the one with an ego the size of a planet.

 **KissMyPorsche:** Because I’m amazing and everyone knows it.

 **Freezerburn:** Whatever helps you sleep at night.

 **KissMyPorsche:** Oh I sleep great, surrounded by money and people that actually want me around. Which is a lot more than can be said for a lot of you. Especially Theo. Dude is practically crying out for attention all the time and can’t face up to the fact that no one gives a shit.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:**  

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Fuck off Jackson.

 **KissMyPorsche:** Notice how pretty boy has conveniently gone offline? Because he knows I’m right.

 **MrMischief:** You’re not right, you’re just an asshole. There’s a difference.

 **KissMyPorsche:** You would certainly know that, wouldn’t you?

 **DamnDaniel:** Jackson…

 **CallMeCupcake:** You must feel awfully good about yourself Whitmore. You know, bullying people through the internet is lame. I bet you’re so small in person. Just a teeny little man.

 **KissMyPorsche:** Finstock you talk shit to people all the time online.

 **CallMeCupcake:** Everything I say on here, I’d say to their face. Something tells me you wouldn’t. With some of these people you’d probably go cowering in a corner the moment they looked at you.

Liam notices Greenberg typing and knows what’s coming next before Coach even makes his next post.

 **CallMeCupcake:** Nope.  Erase it Greenberg, you're wrong.  I know what you're going to say.  It's wrong.

 **FinstocksFavorite:** I was just going to say that he’d be afraid of Derek if he ever met him in person.

 **CallMeCupcake:** Okay, I’ll give you that one Greenberg.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** And with good reason. Which is why Jackson should watch how he speaks to my friends.

 **KissMyPorsche:** It’s all good. I’m leaving anyway. I’ve said my piece.

 **CallMeCupcake:** Yeah run away Whittmore!

 **MrMischief:** Can you believe the nerve of that guy?

 **Freezerburn:** Tell me you didn’t actually listen to him @MurderNugget

 **Noooooolan:** Yeah he’s not worth the aggravation @MurderNugget

 **MrMischief:** Theo?

 **Dunbear2001:** You’re still with us right Theo? @MurderNugget

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Shit.

 **MrMischief:** Can we just kill Jackson? Is that a thing that can happen?

 **Freezerburn:** I can get behind that.

 **Dunbear2001:** Same. I know he’s your friend Danny but dude is an ass.

 **DamnDaniel:** I don’t even want to claim him right now.

 **DamnDaniel:** But seriously Theo, he’s not worth it.

 **FinstocksFavorite:** Jackson’s just an ass to everyone. I wouldn’t take it personally.

 **MrMischief:** If anyone would know about that, it’s you Greenberg.

 **FinstocksFavorite:** Basically everyone is an ass to me. I’m used to it. Except Danny, but he’s nice to everyone.

 **DamnDaniel:** I’m nice to you because you’re a nice guy and don’t deserve half the shit people give you.

 **DamnDaniel:** And you’re cute. 

 **MrMischief:** Uh oh Danny. I think you broke him.

 **Freezerburn:** Now they’re both gone.

 **InvisibleMan:** Not suspicious at all.

It’s another few minutes of the other’s bantering before Danny finally comes back in.

 **DamnDaniel:** It’s all good. But I have to go now. I have a date *smirk*

 **MrMischief:** With who? You were just calling Greenberg cute.

 **DamnDaniel:**  

 **MrMischief:** What?

 **MrMischief:** OH! Go Danny!

 **McCallMeScotty:** And go Greenberg!

 **Freezerburn:** And take pictures! We deserve to finally see what Greenberg looks like.

Liam sighs and falls back against his pillows. He’s happy for Greenberg and Danny, he is. But he’s also still worried about Theo. He hasn’t signed back in or even acknowledged any of his tags or the DM’s Liam has sent. He messages Derek about it but Derek just tells him he’ll try and get in touch with him and not to worry. Theo will be back. He always is.

Liam wants to believe him. He tries to think positive about it. He can’t blame Theo if he wants a break. But then one day passes then two and then more until it’s been a week since Theo’s logged on. It’s not that he’s just not talking to Liam, he’s not posting at all. Anywhere. It makes something in him break. He hadn’t realized how much he really relied on the contact with Theo until suddenly it wasn’t there. Not just on Discord but anywhere. Theo’s just gone. Liam can’t help but be worried about what that means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	5. Chapter 5

Theo’s starting to feel like he’s lost his inspiration. He scrolls through his docs, opening and closing random ones but feeling no pull towards any of them. It’s a problem. Logically he knows it’s not a bad thing. He knows he could use a break. But the moment he thinks that he starts to panic because there’s _so many_. He has this free time so he should be writing right? Around 1:30 a.m. he finally gives up and closes his docs all together. No words were coming no matter no badly he wants them to. He’s learned enough by now than to try and force them. The world is probably better off being spared that experience.

He also can’t get Jackson’s words out of his head. He knows the guy is an asshole but the words still hit on something. Something he’s been trying to push away for a while now. How can he be mad at Jackson for what he said when it’s something he’s thought himself?

He shuts his laptop and puts it away and debates on whether he wants to watch something. He’s not tired yet. It couldn’t hurt. So he pulls up Prime and finds Doctor Who, which is his comfort show if there ever was one. He’d watch Adolescent Lycans but he still doesn’t trust himself not to spiral. The last thing he needs is more docs with no inspiration to write any of it.

He falls asleep as Donna and the Doctor race across the screen on their latest adventure.

 

The next morning he’s just lying there in bed staring at the ceiling. Magnus is curled up at his feet, a calming presence if there ever was one. He hadn’t been able to drag himself out of bed yet. He doesn’t really see the point. It’s not as if he has anything to do.

“Theo Raeken! What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Theo looks over towards his bedroom door to see Derek and Stiles standing there, both looking pissed. He rolls his eyes and turns away from them. “I’m sleeping,” he mutters.

“Bullshit,” Stiles says. He moves around the bed until he’s standing over Theo.

He kind of reminds Theo of a tower. The thought has him smirking and very badly singing to himself, “Tower over meeee.”

“Stop singing Paramore and explain yourself!”

The bed dips behind him and then there’s a hand on Theo’s hip that has him relaxing, “What he means to say is that it’s been over a week and no one has heard from you. You haven’t been online, you haven’t posted anything, and you haven’t answered any calls or texts. We were worried.”

“Clearly I’m fine,” Theo mutters.

“ _Clearly_ you’re not,” Stiles says, frowning down at him. “You look like shit.”

“Gee thanks.”

“When was the last time you showered?” Stiles asks, glancing around the room. “Or ate? Or drank anything? Or left your apartment?”

“I do have a job, Stiles,” Theo sighs.

“Yeah but we all know you’ve had the past few days off, haven’t you?” Stiles asks.

“Have you spent all that time here like this?” Derek asks, his tone soft.

Theo shrugs, glancing back at him, “I’ve been in the living room a bit.”

Derek frowns, reaching out to brush the hair back from Theo’s forehead. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Theo whispers, hating the way his throat starts to close up. “I just haven’t… I haven’t been my best mentally, I guess.”

Stiles sits down next to him and takes his hand in his own, “Do you have meds?”

Theo shakes his head, “I haven’t exactly had money to see someone about it so I’ve never been on meds.”

“Theo you know you should…”

“I know! Okay? I know I should. I’m just waiting until I get a more stable income and can afford to go,” Theo tells them. “Which hopefully this job will help me with.”

“We’re here to help you with anything you need,” Derek tells him, squeezing his shoulder. “You have so many people that care about you and would be here for you if you need them to.”

“I know. I just…”

“What?”

“Sometimes I feel like I’m just a burden and that every time I speak people are wishing I would just shut up,” Theo mutters, “I’ve seen it with my parents and my sister. I know they love me but it’s hard. Especially with Tara. For a while she was the only person I had to talk to. I didn’t really have friends of my own so I’d wind up with her. Not all the time, because I knew she wouldn’t want her kid brother constantly crashing, but it was enough. I know she never specifically told me not to but there were times when I’d look at her and just be able to tell she didn’t want my there. I can’t blame her for that. She deserves to have her own life.

“Even now when we’re both on our own I still feel like I can’t ask her to do things. I’ll just remember the flash of annoyance that would cross her face and it has me hesitating, not just with her but with everyone. Being online and writing have made me feel a little less lonely, I guess. But even then I feel like I have to be careful because I don’t want to push people away.”

“Including us?” Stiles asks.

“Especially you,” Theo sighs, running a hand through his hair. It really does need to be washed. “You guys are important to me. I don’t want to force myself on you and have you get annoyed with me like everyone else does. So I took a step back. ”

“Theo, you should have just talked to us,” Derek says. “Which I know, is easier said than done. Especially when your mind keeps telling you all these reasons not to. But I want you to know that we’re here no matter that happens.”

“I didn’t want it to seem like I was just crying out for attention,” Theo whispers.

The next thing he knows Stiles is there with his hands on Theo’s cheeks, his voice holding more than a hint of anger as he speaks, “Fuck Jackson. Okay? Fuck that asshole. He’s a douchebag that doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“But…”

“No. Not buts. He just can’t handle that fact that people can’t stand him. But that’s on him, not you, okay? We do care, Theo. You matter. Don’t let some asshole like Jackson ever make you think otherwise.”

“He’s right, Theo,” Derek says. “You matter to us and so many other people. Everyone has been worried about you. Including…”

He trials off when Stiles shakes his head but Theo needs to know, “Who? Including who?”

“Liam,” Derek says, “He’s been worried about you.”

“More like he’s been insufferable,” Stiles mutters. “He keeps messaging us asking about you.”

“He does?” Theo asks, feeling something like hope fill his chest.

“He does,” Derek says, “Now why don’t you go get showered and get dressed? We’ll grab some lunch, and we can talk about this.”

Theo nods and sits up when Stiles releases his face and pulls back. He really does feel a lot better once the warm water starts hitting his skin. It helps ease some of the tension that’s been building up in him. When he’s done, he walks back into his room, towel slung low on his hips. Derek and Stiles are lounging on his bed on their phones. Theo ignores them in favor of going to his dresser to find clothes.

He hears a whistle from Stiles when he drops the towel, “God that ass. How did I get lucky enough to have two guys that both have great asses?”

“Because that’s obviously the most important thing,” Derek snorts.

“Well no,” Stiles says, and Theo is sure he’s smirking. “But it doesn’t hurt.”

Theo shakes his head and pulls on a clean pair of boxers and then looks for a shirt. He’s about to put on one of his own but decides against it and grabs one of Derek’s that he’s been leaving here. Both Derek and Stiles are smiling when he turns around. Derek opens up his arms and Theo doesn’t hesitate before crawling onto the bed and into Derek’s lap, letting Derek wrap his strong arms around him. He feels another hand in his hair and knows it must be Stiles.

“Are you feeling better?” Derek asks, his lips brushing against Theo’s ear.

Theo sighs, and snuggles in closer, “Yeah. I think the shower did me good. And this is helping.”

“Good,” Stiles says, “Now how about food? Do you feel up for going out?”

“Not really?” Theo says, “I’m kind of comfortable right now.”

“Yeah well, Derek is a great cuddler so I can’t fault you that,” Stiles says, then his hand falls away and the bed dips.

Theo turns his head to see Stiles stretching with his hands above his head. He smirks when he sees Derek’s eyes focused on the skin that’s visible on Stiles’ stomach. He shakes his head and decides to say something before Stiles notices, even though it might help if he did.  “Where are you going?”

“Well if you two aren’t getting up then I’m going to get some food,” Stiles says, “Because I know _I’m_ hungry. And you’re eating whether you are or not.”

“What about me?” Derek asks.

Theo isn’t paying attention anymore, his eyes focused on the screen of his phone. Liam updated a fic last night and the summary sounds all too familiar. It’s a fic about Leo pining for Teddy who is thousands of miles away. His heart pounds as he opens it up and his eyes scan the words. He reads and reads, unable to pay attention to anything else. Even when he’s done he just keeps staring at his phone.

“Theo?”

Theo’s eyes snap over to where Stiles is still standing next to the bed, frowning at him, “I thought you were leaving.”

“I was but then you zoned out on us and kept smiling down at your phone like a dope,” Stiles says, “What gives?”

“Liam posted a fic last night and gifted it to me,” Theo says, unable to keep the smile off of his face.

“Ah,” Derek says, holding out his hand for Theo’s phone, “Let’s see then.”

“Read it out loud,” Stiles says, sitting on the edge of the bed, “I need to hear it.”

“You could just read it,” Theo tells him.

Stiles waves him off, “I like it when Derek reads. He has a voice for it.”

“Fine,” Derek sighs, “Just no interruptions.”

Stiles makes a show of zipping his lips shut and then gestures for Derek who rolls his eyes, then starts reading.

 

> _Leo knows deep down he belongs with Teddy. He knows there might be thousands of miles separating them but he loves him. He’s fallen for his sharp wit and dark sense of humor. For his green eyes that can sometimes be blue in different lighting. For the way he can keep up with Leo’s rants about ridiculous things without hesitation._
> 
> _It should scare him how he can feel so strongly about someone he’s never even met, but it doesn’t. He **knows** Teddy, and Teddy knows him. He’s told Teddy things he’s never even told Matt and they’re best friends. He can’t explain why he trusts him so much but he finds it doesn’t matter. Whatever this is, it’s real and it’s big and it’s scary but he’s more than ready to dive headfirst into it._
> 
> _Which is why he finds himself on a plane heading out to Florida to finally meet Teddy. He hasn’t told Teddy he’s coming, wanting it to be a surprise, but Dean knows. They’d had a long talk about it before Leo finally bought his plane ticket, wanting to make sure Leo was really ready for this. And he is. He’s ready to see the man he’s been in love with for going on a year and finally hear his voice and know the way his arms and lips and skin feel._
> 
> _He loves Teddy and it’s about time he knows it._

 

“Holy shit,” Stiles breathes, looking at them with wide eyes, “I can’t believe it.”

“I know,” Derek says.

“I didn’t think the little shit had it in him,” Stiles says, looking proud.

“Me either,” Derek says, “Color me shocked.”

“What the hell are you two talking about?” Theo asks pulling back so that he can look between the two. “What is there to be shocked about?”

“Oh come on,” Stiles says, “It’s obvious what this fic was about.”

“Yeah Leo pining for Teddy who lives far away,” Theo says. “What of it?”

Derek groans and rests his head on Theo’s shoulder, “Please tell me you’re not this oblivious.”

It’s not even a question. Just a statement. One that still leaves Theo confused.

Stiles sighs and stands up, “I can’t deal. I’m going to get lunch. You can handle this Der.”

“What is there to handle?” Theo calls after him, he turns to Derek. “Seriously? What is it?”

Derek just kisses him lightly on the lips, “Don’t worry about it.” Theo wants to argue but then Derek is kissing him again, longer and deeper this time. When he pulls back he rests his forehead against Theo’s. “I have missed you, you know?”

“I know,” Theo says, brushing his nose against Derek’s, “I missed you too. I’ll try not to be MIA like that again, or at least not as long and without checking in.”

“Good, because if you do I will break the door down and throw your ass in the shower myself.”

Theo frowns, “Why would you break the door when you have a key?”

Derek grins, “Dramatic effect.”

Theo laughs and kisses him again, letting Derek pull him close as his tongue slips into Theo’s mouth. Theo grips his shoulders, reveling in the feeling. They eventually have to pull back for air and Theo nuzzles into Derek’s neck, placing kisses to his skin as Derek runs his hands along his back. There’s still part of his mind that is screaming at him that this isn’t permanent but he still lets himself enjoy it. He’s missed Derek, and Stiles too. He doesn’t know why he let himself think that they wouldn’t want to be there for him.

“I was an idiot,” He mumbles against Derek’s throat.

“You were,” Derek says, “But lucky for you we love you anyway.”

Theo doesn’t say anything and silence lapses over them. It’s not uncomfortable though. It’s not as suffocating as the silence Theo has been facing the past few days. Theo pulls back when there’s a meow from the hallway and looks over to see Magnus watching him.

“What? Do you want food?” Theo asks. Magnus meows again and Theo sighs, slipping reluctantly off Derek’s lap, “Okay, let’s go.”

He walks towards the door and throws a smile over his shoulder at Derek, who’s watching him. “You can put on a movie or something. I’ll be right back.”

He quickly feeds Magnus and gets him clean water before heading to the kitchen to get himself and Derek something to drink. Derek is right where he left him, a remote in his hand as he scrolls through Netflix.

“Did you want something on we could pay attention to or something we’ve seen that we can half watch?” Derek asks.

“Something we can half watch,” Theo says, “I apparently have some catching up to do.”

Derek nods and keeps scrolling as Theo grabs his laptop and joins Derek on the bed. He lays down next to him and Derek wraps an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close. Theo smiles and relaxes against him as he types out his password and waits for his computer to boot up.

Theo looks up when he hears the familiar sound of the Disney logo. He laughs when he realizes what Derek has put on, “Hercules?”

“What? I like it. It’s a classic.”

“It is,” Theo says, “I just figured you’d be more of a Beauty and the Beast kind of guy.”

“Why because I’m a beast?” Derek asks.

“No, you’re clearly the beauty. I’m the Beast and Stiles is LeFou,” Theo says, grinning up at Derek.

Derek lets out a startled laugh before he starts wheezing and clutching his stomach. Theo sits up, placing his laptop at the bottom of the bed before turning to Derek. He watches as Derek laughs, his whole body shaking before he starts tipping over. Theo reaches for him but it’s too late. Derek winds up as a heap on the floor. When Theo looks over at him, he’s still laughing. Theo reaches down, offering him a hand up, and lets out a startled yell when Derek uses his grip to pull Theo down with him.

“Derek what…?”

Theo’s words die when Derek leans up and kisses him, bringing a hand up to tangle in Theo’s hair and pull him closer. Theo groans and goes willingly, kissing Derek back with matching enthusiasm. He squeals when Derek’s fingers suddenly start digging into his sides.

“Derek! No!” Theo gasps, wiggling in his hold and trying to get away.

Derek doesn’t let up, continuing to tickle Theo as he laughs and tries to get away. Finally Theo moves his hands up under Derek’s arms and starts waging his own attack. Derek starts laughing and trying to fight Theo, while still attempting to tickle him. Eventually he flips them over and grabs Theo’s hands, pinning them above his head while the other continues to dig mercilessly into his side.

“Der,” Theo whines, “Please. Mercy.”

Derek eventually stops and the two stay there, gasping for air. Theo can only smile up at Derek who smiles right back, bringing a hand down to brush the hair out of his face.

“It’s good to see you smiling again,” Derek tells him.

“Yeah well, it’s hard not to when you have a big strong man pinning you down,” Theo says, then coughs, “Which sounds wrong. And I know it’s not like you haven’t done it before, multiple times and for way different reasons but umm… I’m not helping my case, am I?”

Derek chuckles and leans down to kiss him softly, “Not at all. But I know what you meant.”

He gets to his feet and pulls Theo up with him, the two falling back onto the bed again. They just lay there a minute before Theo grabs his laptop again and they resume their previous positions. Theo opens up Chrome and then hesitates. He knows where he wants to go, but he also knows it’s been a while and he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself.

Instead he opens up Tumblr and starts scrolling through. It’s mostly the same, ship stuff and random memes and text posts. He reblogs a few before he comes across one that has him pausing. Theo tilts his head as he studies his computer screen and smirks, hitting the reblog button. He tags Derek and types out a caption, “we know why you’re the first person I thought of when I saw this.”

Behind him on the bed Derek sniggers before typing something out. Theo has to laugh himself when he sees the words, “Oh my god... I’m terrified. I’m pretty sure you would find a way to put all of this into one fic.”

“You know,” Theo says, tilting his head to look up at Derek, “I wasn’t going to. I was going to spread it out. But now that you’ve mentioned it…”

“No!” Stiles says, running into the room. He has his phone is one hand and 2 bags of food in another. He glares between the two of them, “No way. You,” he points a finger at Theo. “Are not going to write what would be the ultimate angst fic. And you,” he turns to Derek and points in his direction, “you are not going to… to support this! This is already out of control. We don’t need that fic to come in and make it worse.”

“But it would be fun,” Theo says, “just imagine.”

“Oh I am,” Stiles says. “And I don’t like it one bit.”

Derek makes to grab the bags of food and Stiles holds them away, “Nope. This food is not for murderers.”

“What about me?” Theo asks, doing his best to put on his most innocent smile.

Stiles narrows his eyes as he looks at him before he sighs and hands over one of the bags of food, “Fine. But only because you really need to eat.”

“I do,” Theo says, throwing a fry into his mouth. He chews it thoughtfully before holding the box out to Derek, “Fry?”

“Seriously?” Stiles asks, throwing his hands up.

Derek just grins and nibbles on the fry, “At least someone loves me.”

“Oh I love you alright,” Stiles says, “But not when you’re being all murderous.”

“I’m not even the one killing people!”

“But you _have_ ,” Stiles says, “And you… you fuel Theo’s need for murder.”

“Jesus you act like I’m killing real people,” Theo sighs, taking a bite of his burger. He pulls the other burger out of the bag and hands it to Derek who gives him a grateful smile.

“They’re real to me!” Stiles shouts. He flops down on the bed in front of Theo and Derek and pulls his own burger and fries out, using the bag as a plate of sorts. “And it kills me little by little every time you do this.”

Theo sighs, “It’s in my blood, Stiles. I can’t help that.”

Stiles rolls his eyes, “Okay buddy, whatever you say. But you tell that to the poor people you keep killing.”

“I can’t if they’re dead,” Theo grins, ducking the fry Stiles throws at him.

“You’re a horrible person.”

“And so are you,” Theo tells him, “In your own way. Maybe that’s why we get along so well. And Derek well, he’s far too nice. I don’t know why he puts up with us.”

Realistically, Theo knows exactly why Derek does. At least with Stiles. He’s not about to say that though. Derek will hopefully get there when he’s ready.

“Someone has to keep you two in line,” Derek jokes.

“Seriously?” Stiles says, “You egg him on with the killing and I’m the one that needs to be kept in line?”

“Stiles you once got drunk and tried to do the Macarena naked on top of your Dad’s cruiser,” Derek says, his face completely serious.

Theo starts coughing, the drink he just took going down the wrong way in reaction to Derek’s words. “Oh my god,” Theo wheezes, “Please tell me you’re serious.”

“I am,” Derek says, “I had to pull him off of it and wrap him in my coat before anyone saw him and tried to arrest him. Or worse, I was forced to bring him in myself.”

“But you didn’t,” Stiles says, grinning over at him. “You were the perfect gentleman and made sure I got home alright. You even stayed with me to make sure I didn’t get sick.”

“Of course I did,” Derek says, “I couldn’t let you get alcohol poisoning and die.”

Stiles shakes his head before getting on his knees to lean over and kiss Derek softly, his hands linger on Derek’s race, rubbing gently through his beard. The look in his eyes has Theo looking away, suddenly feeling as if he’s intruding.

“You always look out for me Der,” Stiles whispers.

Theo hears them kissing again but continues to eat his food. He has to wonder how Derek could possibly not see how Stiles feels about him. It’s obvious, especially when he looks at Derek with such open love and affection like he just did.

They eventually pull back, both wearing matching smiles as they turn their attention back to their food. Stiles starts talking about how he wishes they’d write fluffy things and not death and it’s back to normal. At least as much as it can be.

Theo just rolls his eyes at Stiles death fic comments and retorts that he’s just filling a need. The thing is, the more someone tells Theo not to do something, the more he feels like he needs to. It’s just an itch that he gets beneath his skin, and a lot to do with his stubbornness.

He finds himself back on the Discord later that night when they’re all just lounging around watching movies. Derek and Stiles are curled up together, whispering about the movie and Theo leaves them be. He hopes the more moments they have together like that the more likely they’ll be to realize just how serious this thing between them is.

The moment he goes online he starts getting tagged in posts. It’s surprising. He’d expected to just pop in and say hello and see what had been happening. He hadn’t been expecting this.

 **ImOnlyHuman:** Oh thank god, @MurderNugget you’re back.

 **InvisibleMan:** @MurderNugget Where have you been dude?

 **McCallMeScotty:** Yeah man, we’ve been worried.@MurderNugget

 **Freezerburn:** Dude @MurderNugget, you’re alive!

 **Noooooolan:** @MurderNugget dude thank god you’re here.

 **IHateMath:** Yay Theo’s back?

 **NonParrishables:** It’s about time you return to the world man. We’ve been wondering about you.

 **TheRealAlpha:** Well some of us have.

 **No1Hale:** Shut up Peter.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Honestly, don’t you two ever stop?

 **MrMischief:** I do agree with Laura, shut up Peter.

 **TheRealAlpha:** No one asked you, Stiles.

 **MrMischief:** Yes, but everyone greatly values my opinion. Because I am a gift.

Theo turns to Stiles and Derek with a raised eyebrow, “Seriously?”

Stiles shrugs, “I’m trying to help deflect attention.”

Theo just smiles and turns back to the conversation.

 **Dunbear2001:** Theo? Are you there man?

 **PrettyFlyForABiGuy:** You all probably scared him off again with your childishness.

Theo rolls his eyes but then grins when he sees Isaac is typing something.

 **Freezerburn:** Tête de neoud

 **PrettyFlyForABiGuy:** What the hell does that mean?

 **MurderNugget:** You’re a smart guy, Brett. Figure it out.

 **MurderNugget:** And hey guys. Sorry I’ve been away. I just needed a little bit of break from everything. But I’m back now.

 **McCallMeScotty:** Oh thank god. We’ve missed you and your words.

“Seriously,” Stiles mutters and then starts typing.

“It’s fine Stiles,” Theo says.

But Stiles is already sending the message, giving him what he assumes is supposed to be an apologetic smile.

 **MrMischief:** He just got back bro. Don’t be hounding him for fics already.

Theo shakes his head, but he’s smiling.

“We got your back,” Stiles tells him.

“In more ways than one,” Derek says.

Theo’s head whips around to look at him to find Derek’s mouth hanging open. Stiles just laughs and swats him in the chest, “Way to go big guy.”

Theo grins before turning back to his computer.

 **MurderNugget:** I’m surprised. I was beginning to I think I write too much.

 **MrMischief:** You think?

 **MurderNugget:** You know I love it but it’s also exhausting. And I’m pretty sure I’m just overdoing it and people are tired of my writing.

 **McCallMeScotty:** Not true. We all love your words dude.

 **Dunbear2001:** Who says they’re tired of your writing? Because I’ll fight them.

Theo feels his lips twitching up into a smile at Liam’s words. He has no doubt he would.

 **MurderNugget:** No one has said anything. It’s just a feeling.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** One you should ignore because it’s wrong.

 **Dunbear2001:** Speaking Of writing.

 **Dunbear2001:** Mase where is the update for Sanity?

 **Dunbear2001:**  

 **ImOnlyHuman:** Oh look at the time…

 **Dunbear2001:**  

 **Dunbear2001:** Dude you’re sitting right next to me

 **PrettyFlyForABiGuy:** Wait, why'd you call me a dickhead? What the hell Isaac?

Theo has to laugh at that. He’s grateful the attention has shifted off of him and to someone else. He continues talking to the others, happy to be back to just the normal banter. After a while Nolan comes into the group chat the two have with Isaac and the three start talking. It’s going on midnight and Derek and Stiles have fallen asleep.

He grabs his headphones and puts them in and connects to voice to talk to Isaac and Nolan while he tries to write something.

“You really don’t have to write anything man,” Isaac tells him.

“Yeah I know,” Theo says, opening up his docs to see what he has. “But I have missed it. I can’t remember the last time I went this long without writing.”

“Yeah I can imagine,” Nolan says, “Even on vacation you were writing.”

“It’s not my fault everything inspires me,” Theo replies.

“I sometimes wonder what it’s like in that brain of yours,” Isaac says.

Theo snorts, “You’re probably better off not knowing.”

“I wouldn’t mind knowing what Derek looks like naked,” Nolan says.

Theo inhales so fast he starts coughing. He can hear Isaac laughing and Nolan sputtering through his headset. He takes out one of his earbuds and listens, wanting to make sure Derek and Stiles are still asleep. When he’s only met with silence he puts it back in.

“You’re horrible,” Theo says.

“What?” Nolan asks, “He’s hot.”

“He’s not wrong,” Isaac says. “But I still wouldn’t want to see him naked. That’d be weird.”

“Yes, thank you Isaac. At least one of you is decent.”

Theo can hear Nolan scoff, “Whatever. As if you two have never imagined someone naked. In fact, Theo I bet you wish you could see Liam naked.”

“Yeah well that’s different,” Isaac argues.

“How?”

“Because he’s in love with Liam,” Isaac says. “So unless you’re gonna tell us you’re in love with Derek…”

“Of course not!” Nolan says, sounding scandalized.

“At least you two haven’t changed,” Theo says, smiling even though he knows they can’t see it.

“Just as salty as ever,” Isaac says.

The three continue talking, which mostly consists of Theo and Isaac bitching to each other while Nolan pops in every once in awhile with a random quip. Theo can hear him typing every now and then and knows he’s either writing or talking to someone. At this point Theo has given up on the idea of writing, too focused on his conversation with Isaac.

They’re currently talking about they wish words could just write themselves when a loud shriek from Nolan has them falling quiet. He knows he would definitely be sharing a look of confusion with Isaac if he could see him. Since he can’t he decides one of them has to figure out what it is that made their friend have such an extreme response. It just happens to be Isaac.

“Nols?” Isaac asks.

“Yeah?” Nolan replies, his voice small.

“Care to share what happened to have you shrieking like a banshee?”

"Brett just messaged me and he said he wanted to like get off via video chat. He even sent me a picture! What do I do? I don't even like him like that!"

It takes a moment for the words to register since Nolan spoke so fast and his voice got higher and more panicked as he went on. When they do he can’t stop himself from busting out laughing. Isaac isn’t faring much better.

“This isn’t funny!” Nolan says, sounding close to hysterical.

“It is a little bit funny,” Isaac says.

“What am I supposed to do?” Nolan asks.

“Well that depends,” Isaac says, his words slow and careful. Theo knows why. “Do you want to?”

“Do I want to what?”

Theo is sure Isaac is rolling his eyes, “Come off it Nolan. Do you want to partake in some mutual self-love with Brett via video chat?”

“No!” Nolan all but shouts. “I mean, nothing against him because he is attractive. And I like talking to him. But…”

“You’re interested in someone else, aren’t you?” Theo asks, knowing full well Nolan is. The other person just happens to be on voice with them.

“Yeah,” Nolan whispers.

“Well then tell him that,” Isaac says, not sounding the least bit phased.

There’s a moment where the only sound is the rustling of clothing before Nolan speaks, sounding determined. “Yeah okay. I will.”

Theo opens his mouth to say something but then Nolan is gone. His lips twitch up into an amused smile, “I wonder if he knows he didn’t have to disconnect from voice with us and actually leave to tell Brett no.”

Isaac snorts, “Probably. But knowing him he got off of here so that he could hype himself up before he does it and we won’t hear him.”

“Most likely,” Theo agrees, then decides to take advantage of their being alone. “So, you seemed pretty chill about the whole Nolan and Brett thing.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Isaac asks.

“Oh I don’t know,” Theo says, “maybe because you like him.”

“And?”

Theo sighs, “And maybe you’d care just a little bit if Nolan was going to date someone else.”

“Of course I care,” Isaac says, “but if he was interested in dating Brett, or wants to be with this other person he’s interested in, I’d care enough about him to want to see him happy, even if that is with someone else.”

“You really are an idiot,” Theo says.

“Excuse me?”

“You are,” Theo says, “Because the other person he’s interested in is clearly you.”

“No,” Isaac says, but even that one word doesn’t sound convincing, “No, that’s not true.”

“It is,” Theo tells him, “just you wait. And once you do realize it’s true, you damn well better do something about it.”

“Fine,” Isaac snaps, “If he’s interested in me I’ll do something about it.”

Theo’s guessing he didn’t expect the chance to present itself so quickly. But with Nolan they should have known. Not even five minutes later Isaac is cursing and typing something quickly into his keyboard while muttering, either to himself or Theo, "I cannot believe that little shit direct messaged me to tell me he likes me. I have to deal with this."

Then he’s gone. Theo shakes his head, hoping that Isaac isn’t too hard on Nolan since he at least took the chance and went for what he wanted. That’s more than can be said for a lot of people, himself included. He looks towards the stares and pictures the way Stiles and Derek are probably wrapped around each other. He hopes it won’t be long for them either. As for him and Liam, well that’s a little more complicated.

He pulls up Liam's fic and makes a detailed comment since he hadn't had a chance before. Then he brings up his DM with Liam and decides he should at least try to get some normalcy back between them, even if it’s just sending him a random meme he saw earlier that made him. He’s about to just put it in the DM but decides against it. He opens tumblr and finds the draft he saved and tags Liam in it.

He smiles when Liam likes it and reblogs it a few minutes later along with a lot of emojis. He must still be awake then. Sure enough, a red number pops up in the corner of Discord, along with Liam’s picture. He smiles wider when he opens the message to see Liam already ranting away about this new show he started watching and had been dying to tell Theo about.

He’d been worried things might be awkward but he’s glad they’re not. He’s grateful that even if he can’t have Liam in the romantic sense that he can at least have this. Though there is some tiny part of him that still has hope that maybe one day it can be more. If it can work out for Leo and Teddy, why not him and Liam? He squashes down the voice that tries to tell him that Leo and Teddy aren’t real and he and Liam are. He needs that little bit of hope right now. Even just for tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow okay, it's been a minute. I struggled with this chapter because it wanted to get darker than I really wanted it to and had to cut things out in the end. But it's done and out there!  
> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	6. Chapter 6

Liam admits he’s relieved that things seem to be going back to normal with Theo. It’s easy to fall back into the lighthearted bantering they once had. He tries to push his feelings down, not wanting them to get in the way and possibly ruin things. Mason and Corey keep telling him he’s an idiot and he just needs to talk to Theo but it’s not that easy.

He checks his phone when he hears it ting signaling a new email, and smiles when he sees it’s a new fic from Derek. He immediately brings it up on his computer and starts reading away, all the wonderful words washing over him. Except them he gets to the bottom of the page and there’s nothing else. Leo and Teddy didn’t even kiss!

He opens up discord and goes to his direct message with Derek, intent on confronting him on his rudeness.

 **Dunbear2001:** Dude, @LycanDoWhateverIWant what the hell was that fic?

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** The end?

 **Dunbear2001:** Yes it'll be the end of you if you don't continue 

 **Dunbear2001:**   

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** That’s a tad dramatic....

 **Dunbear2001:** Seems reasonable to me

He moves over to the Leddy Discord and rolls his eyes when he sees there’s a new post from Derek.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** If I die, just know it was at the hands of Liam.

 **MrMischief:** Oh boy. What is he threatening you for now?

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Apparently he didn’t like the ending of Moonrise

 **MurderNugget:** Aww but that fic was perfect! Like all of Derek’s words.

Liam feels something ugly curl in his chest and he starts typing before he can even think about it.

 **Dunbear2001:** Yeah well you’re biased since Derek’s your boyfriend or whatever. So your opinion is invalid when it comes to him.

 **ImOnlyHuman:** Intense

 **Freezerburn:** Yes hello. Did someone mention hockey?

 **MurderNugget:** What the hell Liam?

Liam’s phone starts ringing with Mason’s familiar ringtone. He almost doesn’t answer it, but he knows Mason will just keep calling until he does.

“Dude!” Mason says, before Liam can even say hello, “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know!” Liam groans, watching as the chat keeps going.

 **MurderNugget:** Liam? Seriously? Where the hell did you go?

 **Noooooolan:** You missed the hockey talk by about 20 minutes babe.

 **IHateMath:** That’s still taking some getting used to.

Liam goes over to his direct message with Theo and notices Theo is typing. It’s a bunch of start and stops before he finally sends something.

 **MurderNugget:** Liam...

 **MurderNugget:** Is everything alright?

 **MurderNugget:** Can you get on voice please? I feel like we need to talk.

“He wants to talk on voice,” Liam says, feeling his heart speed up at the thought.

“Dude you should,” Mason says, “Surely there can’t be any misunderstandings if you’re actually talking to him.”

“What misunderstandings?” Liam asks.

“Dude…” Mason sighs, “Just talk to him. Please.”

Liam thinks about it. He wants to. He wants to hear Theo’s voice. But hearing that voice confirming what he already knows about Stiles and Derek would probably break him. He doesn’t think he’d be able to handle it and then he’d just make a fool of himself.

 **Dunbear2001:** Look, I’m fine. I’m sorry I got weird. I just have a lot going on. I just meant I know you three are close and have this thing going on. But it wasn’t fair of me to snap at you like that. I’m sorry. We just started talking again and I don’t want things to be weird between us.

 **MurderNugget:** Liam, this thing with Stiles and Derek is… complicated. But it’s not… It’s just hard to explain.

 **Dunbear2001:** It’s fine dude. You don’t owe me any explanation. And I’m not all judgy about the poly thing. It’s nice that you have them. They care about you. Plus, my parents were apparently in this poly thing with Mason’s parents once upon a time. Or at least my Mom was. But they invited my Dad. Which I don’t really want to think about all that much. The point is, I get it, okay? You should just do what makes you happy.

There’s a lot of starting and stopping on Theo’s end again before another message comes through.

 **MurderNugget:** Talking to you makes me happy.

“Liam?” Mason’s voice sounds in his ear. “Are you okay? You just squealed.”

“I did not!”

Mason chuckles, “Yeah, you did man. So what is it?”

“Theo says talking to me makes him happy,” Liam says, unable to keep the smile off of his face.

Mason sighs, “Of course he did. I keep telling you to just talk to him.”

Liam considers getting on voice, but there’s still part of him that has doubts. Just because talking to him makes Theo happy doesn’t mean he’s interested in him like that.

“Please don’t overthink this,” Mason pleads.

But it’s too late. Liam is already moving his mouse back to the text box. He might not be ready to talk about things but there’s one thing he can do.

 **Dunbear2001:** Talking to you makes me happy too. It’s the best part of my day.

There’s a moment where Theo doesn’t say anything and Liam starts to panic. Then he starts typing again and Liam lets out a breath of relief at the words.

 **MurderNugget** : Mine too 

They talk a bit more and Liam finds himself relaxing. He still feels guilty for lashing out at Theo the way he did. It wasn’t fair to him, or Derek for that matter. He sends Derek a message, apologizing for what he said but all Derek sends back is a, “I really wish you two would just talk to each other,” which leaves Liam feeling confused.

Liam winds up forgetting all about the cryptic message over the next few days, too wrapped up in spending time with Mason and Corey and writing and then still trying to find time to read and write comments. He got behind for a while because of school and now he’s just trying to catch up, not wanting anyone to feel like he’s been neglecting them.

 **MrMischief:** This adventure is a scene so far.  If you don't hear from me in a while, I'm not dead. Just in jail.

Liam frowns as the words appear on screen in gen chat of the Leddy server, feeling concerned about whatever it is Stiles could be up to. He’s apparently not the only one.

 **Freezerburn:** Excuse me

 **MurderNugget:** omfg

 **MurderNugget:** Also, now I need that line to go into a fic haha

 **MrMischief:** When a friend calls and needs to get drinks together and then asks if you have bolt cutters 2 beers in and you say, yeah, I have some in my trunk... it's likely you'll end up in jail.

 **MurderNugget:** oh my god. Stiles, please don’t get arrested.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** If he does, I’m letting them keep him overnight. Seriously? You’re talking about committing a crime _online_ where you know I’ll see it.

 **MrMischief:** I know you’d never arrest me, Der.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** No, but I’d call your Dad to do it.

 **MurderNugget:**  

 **MrMischief:** So rude.

 **MrMischief:** I have had 8 beers.  In... 2 hours.  This is... not going to end in jail time, there's no way anyone's driving.  Thank god.

 **MurderNugget:** Derek literally just let out a sigh of relief.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Do you need me to come and get you?

 **MrMischief:** Yes please, and Malia could use a ride home.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Why am I not the least bit surprised Malia was involved?

 **MrMischief:** Because Malia is the only person that would ask for bolt cutters with no explanation and it just make sense.

 **IHateMath:** I had a perfectly reasonable explanation. Just not one that anyone needs to know. Now hurry up, Derek. I want a burger.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Can’t you eat at the bar while you wait for me to get there?

 **MrMischief:** About that…

 **MurderNugget:** I’m sure you know what Derek’s heavy put up sigh sounds like by now. And he’s pinching his nose.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Thank you for your commentary, Theo.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** What did you two do? @MrMischief @IHateMath

 **IHateMath:** Some asshole grabbed a girls ass so I broke his hand.

 **MrMischief:** And now she has a date. I’m so proud.

 **BowsAndArrows:** Go Malia.

Liam loses track of the conversation after that, only checking back to make sure Stiles and Malia had been safely picked up by Derek. He does his best to focus on writing. He’s actually feeling inspired and just needs to get the words down while he can. Everything else can wait. He kind of gets lost in it all, and when he next checks the time he sees it’s going on 11 p.m. He’s not surprised to see Theo is still online even though it’s almost 2 a.m. there. Though it is a little unsettling. Theo doesn’t sleep near as much as he should.

He’s just flipping through the channels, trying to see what he’s missed, when he notices Theo is typing. He tries to find out where and winds up in the scream channel. Theo must need to rant about something, which happens.

 **MurdeNugget:** Is it so wrong to want to be great at something? Or to just be someone that people actually get excited or happy whenever they post something? I’m all about writing what you love and for yourself and doing what makes you happy, but what do you do when nothing makes you happy anymore? When the one thing you cling to for happiness just doesn’t work? I just want to matter.

Liam finds himself sad at Theo’s words. He knows Theo’s been struggling a lot but this feels different. He wishes he could jump through the computer screen and hug him and tell him it would all be okay. But he can’t. He’s over a thousand miles away, and the only good thing he can offer are his words.

 **Dunbear2001:** You do matter Theo. We’re all here and we love you and your words. But it’s okay not to write. You shouldn’t make yourself do it if it’s not making you happy. That will just make you grow to resent it. You’re not a machine. You deserve a break and just some time to relax. And I’m sure I can speak for quite a few people here when I say that I love what you do and get excited whenever you post something.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** He’s right, Theo. Plenty of people love your work and get excited for it. Myself included.

 **MrMischief:** Yeah I might not get all mushy about it but you know I love your stuff. But you should listen to Liam. This is something you do for yourself for the most part. So if you’re not getting joy out of it you should give yourself a break. Come back to everything later with fresh eyes.

 **Freezerburn:** Maybe watch some things and get some rest.

 **Noooooolan:** Maybe blow off some steam 

 **Freezerburn:** Nolan 

 **Noooooolan:** What? There are plenty of ways to blow off steam. Not my fault your mind went there. He could easily go work out. He looks like someone who does that.

 **MrMischief:** Him and Derek work out all the time together.

 **DamnDaniel:** I bet that’s hot.

 **ClumsyVixen:** Aren’t you dating Greenberg, Danny?

 **DamnDaniel:** I am. And I’m sure he’d agree.

 **FinstocksFavorite:** I definitely do.

 **QueenLydia:** Do we ever get to see what he looks like?

 **DamnDaniel:** If he agrees. It’s not really up to me.

 **FinstocksFavorite:** If you must. It’s not exactly a secret.

 **DamnDaniel:** Okay then. Everyone, meet @FinstocksFavorite.

Liam almost falls out of his chair when he sees the picture Danny has just posted. It’s of him and someone that looks far too familiar.

 **Dunbear2001:** omg

 **QueenLydia:** Oh damn. He’s cute.

 **BowsAndArrows:** More than cute, he’s hot.

 **McCallMeScotty:**   

 **Dunbear2001:** You uhh… you ever been to Sinema Greenberg?

Liam can’t stop himself from asking the question, even when he knows the answer.

 **FinstocksFavorite:** I think we both know I have.

 **MrMischief:** What? How?

 **Dunbear2001:** We just met one time when I was there.

 **FinstocksFavorite:** One word for it.

 **ImOnlyHuman:** Wait, you two met at Sinema? When?”

Liam really wishes Mason wouldn’t ask that. It’s not that he’s ashamed of his nights at the club, he just feels weird about Theo seeing it.

 **ImOnlyHuman:** Oh my god. He’s the one who almost… oh shit!

 **McCallMeScotty:** Almost what?

 **FinstocksFavorite:** What happens, or doesn’t happen, at Sinema, stays at Sinema.

Liam feels relieved at the words. At least Greenberg isn’t going to blurt it out. He still feels a little weird about it though. It’s not every day you find out some random dude who almost blew you in a club bathroom is someone you’ve also been talking to online for months. Right now the world feels too small, at least in this case. In others, he wishes it wasn’t quite so big.

There’s just one other thing that’s eating at him now. The reason why the almost blowjob had been an almost in the first place. Liam’s heart speeds up, knowing that Greenberg knows his secret. He knows about Theo and could easily tell him at any time. His stomach drops when Greenberg’s profile picture pops up in the left corner of his screen, showing he has a new message. He almost doesn’t click it, worried about what it could say. Except he knows he has to. It’s going to be there, whether he opens it or not, so he might as well get it over with.

 **FinstocksFavorite:** I know you’re probably freaking out now about me knowing about Theo. But you don’t have to worry, Liam. I’m not going to say anything to him. I know you probably don’t want my advice, and I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but you should talk to Theo. Just a thought. You can ignore this if you want. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t start panicking over me saying something to Theo.

Liam lets out a relieved breath. Greenberg isn’t going to say anything. He at least doesn’t have to worry about that. He frowns at the other words. The ones where Greenberg tells him to talk to Theo. He talks to Theo all the time. And if Greenberg is suggesting he actually talk to Theo about his feelings, then he’s crazy. He debates not responding, but that feels rude.

 **Dunear2001:** Thank you.

Short and simple, and better than nothing. He doesn't need to know whether Liam decides to take his advice or not. He doesn’t know why so many people keep saying he should talk to Theo. Not when Theo is clearly still dating Stiles and Derek. He’s not going to be the one to come between that. Even if Theo says it’s complicated. The last thing he needs to get involved in is something complicated. Though part of him foolishly hopes it’s not anything serious and that one day Theo will be single again. Not that it would matter if he was. Theo still lives over a thousand miles apart. Distance really is a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but words have been fighting me for this one. Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	7. Chapter 7

It’s not a bad day, for once. It’s actually pretty decent. Work has been slow but he’s found ways to occupy himself either reading, writing, or messing around on Discord. He’s grateful to have a job that allows him to do that. Even if sometimes he does wish more people would come into the library. People’s appreciation for actual books is sorely lacking and it makes him a little sad. Something needs to be done to get people excited about reading again.

He takes a look around the library, noticing that any patrons are busy on the computers or reading. He opens up discord on his phone and starts seeing what he’s missed. A few fics have been posted, which he makes note of. There’s some new fanart from Allison, which is always amazing. She’s more talented than anyone he knows.

He moves over to fanfic to see Stiles and Cora talking about the comic Cora is doing. It’s not surprising. It’s always been something the two have bonded over.

 **MrMischief:**  omg.  I'm so excited.

 **MrMischief:** You have no idea.  Btw did you ever read omgcp?

 **WildernessWolf:** Yes

 **WildernessWolf:** ALL of it

 **WildernessWolf:** It's too adorable to exist though

 **MrMischief:** I told youuuu

 **MrMischief:** GAY HOCKEY BROS I couldn't ask for more.

 **WildernessWolf:** And one French Canadian to boot

 **Freezerburn:** excuse me French Canadian and hockey I have been summoned

 **WildernessWolf:** The prophecy is complete!

 **WildernessWolf:** Okay I was reading some of it again and I hurt the part of me that feels feelings

 **Freezerburn:** oh no why

 **WildernessWolf:** It's like when you just want hockey boys to kiss and then they kiss and it’s secret from the world 

 **WildernessWolf:** Well it's just like that

 **MrMischief:** We're talking about my fav web comic

 **MrMischief:** You know the one

 **Freezerburn:** I doooo

 **MurderNugget:** I don’t

 **MrMischief:** That’s because you’re severely uncultured when it comes to the world of comments. But it’s okay. We love you anyway.

 **WildernessWolf:** I don’t.

**Freezerburn:**

**MurderNugget:** I love you too, Cora.

He smiles when he sees a DM from Derek pop up on the side of the screen.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Shouldn’t you be working?

 **MurderNugget:** How do you know I’m not?

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** You’re responding far too quickly to actually be doing anything.

 **MurderNugget:** How do you know? Have you worked in a library?

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** As a matter of fact, yes. I worked in the one on campus.

 **MurderNugget:** Of course you did.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** You still coming over after you get off work?

 **MurderNugget:** Yeah, I can stop and grab food on my way?

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Pizza?

 **MurderNugget:** Of course 

He places an order for the pizza online so that he can just stop in and pick it up on his way to Derek and Stiles’ place. He seriously doesn’t know what he would do without online ordering. It makes things so much simpler, and saves him the trouble of having to call food in.

Both their cars are parked outside when he pulls up. He lets himself in, calling out a greeting as he goes to the kitchen to grab some plates and napkins before heading upstairs.

Theo walks into the room and Stiles is typing furiously and seeming to be yelling at the screen, "Take that you asshole! You're not going to eat me."

Theo just turns to Derek who’s lounging on the bed, and puts the pizza down on the bedside table.  "Is he playing a game?"

Derek looks up from his computer screen and over at Stiles, "No. He's writing."

Theo’s brow furrows, “What is he writing?”

“Words to end all words!” Stiles shouts, “Here, come look.”

Theo walks over and peers down at the screen. He snorts as he reads over the words.

_oh look at all these words as they appear on the screen. Oh man. The monster is going to eat me if I don't keep typing. Oh shit. Come on fingers. Keep going. You can do it. You’re a badass, Stilinski. You got this. Don’t let the beastie get you. Keep typing. There we go. Fuck off you asshat. You can’t kill me! And now I'm out of words again. So close to being done. Yesss. I have vanquished the beast!_

“Are you… this isn’t something you’re going post, is it?”

He hears Derek snort from the bed and then he’s walking over to peer down at the screen, “I think this is some of your best work.”

“Mock all you want, but I’ll have you know this exercise is very useful,” Stiles says.

“Yeah useful at wasting time,” Derek grins.

Stiles points a finger at him and opens his mouth to retaliate. Then his eyes widen as they land on the clock on the wall behind Derek, “Oh shit! Is that the time? I have to go to work!”

He scrambles out of his seat, almost knocking his laptop off the desk in his hurry. Then he’s grabbing clothes and throwing them on. He takes time to grab a few slices of pizza and throws them on the plate, along with some of the napkins. He places kisses to both of their cheeks and waves goodbye as he stumbles out the door.

Theo turns to Derek, “What does he do anyway?”

Derek shrugs, grabbing some pizza for himself, before resuming his previous position. "No idea. He hasn't told me."

"And that doesn't concern you?" Theo asks, joining him on the bed.

"As long as he's not killing people or getting arrested."

Theo laughs, grabbing a plate and some pizza, “Fair enough.”

Derek puts on a movie and they eat in silence as they watch it. They wind up online, as they usually do, but neither of them are really doing much except finding memes and sending them to each other or the discord.

Theo shakes his head when he sees Stiles come online, “Do any of us have jobs where we can’t be online?”

“I do,” Derek says.

“Okay, yeah you work in law enforcement. But don’t act like you don’t check the Discord when you’re at your desk.”

Derek shrugs, “That’s different.”

“Sure it is.”

He goes to gen chat and sees Stiles is there typing a message. He frowns when he reads over the words.

 **MrMischief:** Yeah this could be the day I wind up dead. These people are nuts.

 **MrMischief:** Wish me luck.  Last time I was in this part of town I got chased down by a large man named Three-O.  And then his lackeys got in a car and chased us to the edge of town.

 **MrMischief:** But I’m inside. I should be good.

“What the hell?” Theo asks, turning to Derek, “Does him getting killed count as something that bothers you?”

“Obviously,” Derek says, “But he always has a flair for the dramatic.”

 **MurderNugget:** I’m not saying I’m worried… but I’m worried.

 **MrMischief:** I should be fine.

 **MrMischief:** Shit. Security is coming. I gotta go. If you don't hear from me the rest of the day, I'm probably in jail.

He immediately goes offline and Theo’s frown deepens.

Next to him, Derek sighs. “I should probably run by work later and check.”

“Yeah that might be a good idea,” Theo says.

He can’t help but feel restless the rest of the day. He gets Derek to agree to let him tag along to the station. He’s not on duty so there’s no reason Theo can’t go. Plus, Parrish is taking an extra shift tonight so it’ll be a good excuse to see him.

Parrish shakes his head when the pair walk in, “Good. This saves me the trouble of calling to tell you your boyfriend is here.”

Derek sighs, “Of course he is. Is he locked up?”

“No, he’s in with his Dad,” Parrish tells them. “I’ll let them know you’re here.”

He walks off and leaves Theo and Derek standing outside the door. Derek grabs Theo’s arm and pulls him towards the seats nearby.

“Are you worried? Theo asks him.

“I’m always worried about him,” Derek sighs. “I just usually do a good job of hiding it. But he’s not in a cell so hopefully it’s not too bad.”

Theo looks over when the door opens and Parrish walks out. The Sheriff peeks his head and waves them in, “Both of you might as well get in here.”

“Both of them,” Stiles groans as they walk inside. “Of course it’s both of you.”

“What’s going on?” Derek asks, ignoring Stiles’ complaints.

“Well I think Stiles should be the one to explain that, don’t you?” the Sheriff asks.

“I’m telling you this is all supposed to be a secret,” Stiles says. “My job…”

“I don’t care what the FBI has you doing,” John says. “You took a big risk tonight and could have been seriously hurt. They both deserve to know why.”

“You might as well sit down,” Stiles says. ‘It’s a long story.”

It certainly is. Stiles tells them how he works for the FBI, and has for years. He’s been undercover recently working for Discord. He says he’s had unlimited access to all the information from the servers as it comes and goes. Theo feels a little uneasy at that. How much does he know?

“I haven’t been spying on you,” Stiles tells them, “At least not the messages between you two. I wouldn't do that. It’s just… I’ve been trying to track down a hacker. I can’t go into details but he’s a threat and word has it he uses Discord.”

“So what?” Theo asks, “You were posing as a fan to blend in?”

Theo feels his heart thudding in his chest. He thinks of all the conversations he’s had, of all the things he’s let Stiles know. Was that even real?

“Hey,” Stiles says, coming to kneel down in front of him. He shoots a look to Derek, who’s been silent the whole time, before looking back to Theo. “I wasn’t lying about anything.” When Theo scoffs, Stiles sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Okay, so I _did_. But not really? I never said what I did so I wouldn’t have to lie. Not because I can’t. I’ve gotten pretty good at it. But I never wanted to lie to you, to either of you.” He turns to Derek again, his gaze staying on him as he reaches a hand out and puts it on Derek’s knee, “You have to believe me.”

“I do,” Derek says, finally. He looks at Stiles, his face resigned. “I believe you. And I understand why you’ve kept it a secret. I’m not mad about that. I just hate that you’ve been involved in something dangerous and I never knew.”

“I never would have let it touch you,” Stiles tells him.

Derek lets out a disbelieving laugh and brings a hand up to Stiles’ cheek, “I’m not worried about it touching _me_. I’m worried about _you_. If something happened to you…”

“It won’t,” Stiles tells him. “I’m fine, okay? There was just a little bit of a mix up at one of the offices. But it’s been cleared up.”

“So you can come home?”

Stiles nods, leaning into Derek’s touch. His expression is fond as he looks at him. Theo has to make himself look away, wanting to give them their moment. His eyes land on the Sheriff, who is watching them both with a fond smile of his own.

“I think he’s suffered enough for one night,” the Sheriff says. “Now you two can deal with it.”

“Gee thanks Dad,” Stiles says, rolling his eyes and getting to his feet. “Please tell me there’s pizza left? I’m starving.”

“There is,” Derek says, grabbing his hand, “We made sure to save you some.”

Stiles smiles and leans up to kiss his cheek, “What would I do without you?”

“Wither away,” Derek jokes.

“Probably,” Stiles says, his voice soft. “We all know how much I need you.”

Derek looks down at him, his eyes wide as if he hadn’t been expecting that. His voice goes as soft as Stiles’ when he speaks, “I need you too.”

Theo holds his breath, hoping this will be the moment. That maybe something will happen and they’ll finally admit that this thing between them is serious. Then a chair loudly scrapes back and they’re both looking away. Theo sighs, cursing whatever deputy had to ruin the moment.

“I suppose we should go,” Theo says.

“Yeah,” Stiles says, clearing his throat, “Let’s go.”

The ride back to Derek and Stiles’ is a quiet one. The radio’s not even playing. Theo wants to ask to turn it on but the way Derek is glaring at the road has him staying silent.

“We should get drunk,” Stiles says, suddenly.

“What?” Derek asks, glancing over at him briefly before looking back at the road.

“Yeah,” Stiles says, “It’s been a long day. We deserve to just be able to blow off some steam.”

“By drinking?”

“I’m for it,” Theo says.

“See!” Stiles says, “Theo is for it. You don’t want to disappoint both of us, do you?”

Derek sighs, directing the car towards the liquor store. Stiles jumps out when they get there and runs inside. Derek and Theo follow at a more leisurely pace. “You know you don’t have to drink,” Theo tells him.

“I know,” Derek says, holding the door open for Theo and then following him in. “But it’s really not a bad idea. It’s been awhile since I’ve really drank. I’m usually the one having to keep Stiles in line.”

“See, you deserve this,” Theo says, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “Now what are you having?”

Theo and Derek wind up getting a few cases of beer to share, while Stiles sticks with Bourbon. They spend the night at Stiles and Derek’s place, drinking and talking, occasionally playing a card game that is far hard to play with just the three of them.

Of course they end up online. Part of Theo knows it’s probably not a good idea while drunk but he’s past caring. He finds himself laughing as he reads over the message Stiles has posted in the gen chat.

 **MrMischief:** I love you guys so fucking much. You are the best. THE best.

 **McCallMeScotty:** We love you too, Stiles.

 **QueenLydia:** Let me guess. You’ve been drinking.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Yeah he’s had a bottle of Bourbon and a few beers. He’s a little bit drunk.

 **MurderNugget:** Like we’re not 

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:** I’m great.

 **MurderNugget:** Great doesn’t mean not drunk.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Whatever. I’m just saying that Stiles is a loving drunk. Handsy too…

Sure enough, when Theo looks over Stiles has his arms wrapped around Derek from behind as his hands skirt across his chest and he nuzzles into Derek’s neck. Theo looks away and back to his phone to see a message from Isaac.

 **Freezerburn:** I think that's just with you, dude.

 **MurderNugget:** You’re not wrong.

 **MrMischief:** Because I love my Derbear. He’s perfect and cuddly.

Theo wonders how Stiles has managed to type but when he turns around he sees him with his phone in his hands while his arms are still around Derek and his head is resting on his shoulder. Derek is just sitting there, staring down at the screen.

He clears his throat and goes to stand abruptly, throwing Stiles off. Stiles shouts indignantly as he falls back against the pillows.

“I need another drink,” Derek says, his posture rigid as he moves towards the door.

Theo watches him go, tempted to follow him. But then Stiles speaks, his voice soft and sad, “I hate when he pulls away from me like that.” Theo isn’t sure what to say, but Stiles doesn’t seem to mind. He keeps going, “I care so much about him, you know?”

“Maybe you should tell him that,” Theo says.

He’s used to talking to Derek about how he feels. But he’s never had a chance to talk to Stiles. He seems to keep his emotions more to the chest. He’s caught glimpses of just how much Stiles cares, but this is the first time he’s really hearing it.

Stiles doesn’t get to say anything because Derek comes back, carrying a few bears and Stiles’ second bottle of Bourbon. Stiles grins when he sees it and makes grabby hands for it. “Yes! Give me the good stuff.”

“I don’t think you need it,” Derek tells him, handing the bottle over, “But I’m way past being responsible right now.”

“Good,” Stiles says, immediately tucking himself back against Derek, “I like when you let loose.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Stiles sighs, “You’re less tense like this. I like it. You deserve to just be able to relax Der. You work so hard. I just want you be happy.”

“I am when I’m with you,” Derek says, blinking in surprise.

“Good,” Stiles sighs. “I’m happy with you, too.”

Theo smiles and grabs another drink. He joins Stiles and Derek on the bed when they call him over. Stiles eventually passes out while Derek and Theo mess around on their phones.

Theo’s brow furrows when he sees a message from Derek pop up. He opens it and has to hold back his laughter when he sees the words.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** You should kill Terry and here’s how.

He then goes into a detail and gruesome tale of how Terry meet their ends by a pack of wild cougars. Theo turns his head slightly to grin up at Derek, “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“I didn’t want Stiles to hear and disapprove,” Derek loudly whispers.

“I don’t even need to know the specifics to know I disapprove. Now stop killing and sleep,” Stiles speaks up, his words muffled slightly from where his face is pressed against Derek’s back.

Derek snickers and hands his phone to Theo to put on the nightstand. Then Derek wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him close, their foreheads resting together against the pillow. Theo falls asleep safe and happy. He dreams of blue eyes.

* * *

It’s a couple days later and Theo is lying in bed while on the discord talking to Derek and Liam. They’ve once again started spiraling about something thanks to the gif Theo posted of Dean smiling softly as he looks at someone. He's pleased when his time the spiral is about Teddy and Dean.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Okay... buttt... famous Teddy being asked about his boyfriend.

 **Dunbear2001:** And then Dean giving that look

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Yessss

 **MurderNugget:**

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Dean standing at the side of the room.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Oh… a bodyguard AU

 **MurderNugget** : omg I need it.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** I’m... leaving now...

 **MurderNugget:** DEREK

 **Dunbear2001:** I have such a need for a bodyguard au

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Why must you attack me with pictures Theo? I do not need to spiral

 **MurderNugget:** I need it too. Ugh.

 **MurderNugget:** Me either. I already have too much but just look at them

 **MrMischief:** If I…

Theo feels excited suddenly, thinking maybe Stiles is about to offer to write the Deddy bodyguard AU. He really should have known better. But at least he’s not alone in thinking it.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Stiles…

 **MrMischief:** Should stay...

 **MurderNugget:** Stiles 

**MrMischief:** I would only...

 **MurderNugget:** NO

He knows exactly what Stiles is doing now, and honestly he doesn’t know why he’s surprised.

 **MrMischief:** Be in... your waaaayyyyy.

 **MurderNugget:** I know what you’re doing.

 **MurderNugget:** Stop

 **MurderNugget:**

**MrMischief:** So...

 **MrMischief:** I'll go.

 **MrMischief:** BUT. I know...

 **MrMischief:** I'll think of you...

 **MrMischief:** Every step...

 **MrMischief:** Of the waaaayyyyy.

Theo sighs and goes to google. Pulling up a gif of Whitney Houston singing “and I will always love you” and pasting it into the channel. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?

 **MurderNugget:** Okay Derek get back here

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** I’ve no spiral thoughts anymore... just Whitney Houston

 **MrMischief:** You’re welcome.

 **MurderNugget:**

**MurderNugget:** I am upset

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Thank you. You chaotic good.

Theo smiles as he reads over the spiral Derek has had about Dean and Teddy dating as a publicity stunt but then slowly fall in love. It’s good. Of course it is. Derek is excellent at spiraling and coming up with ideas. Just like he was good at coming up with the AU about Dean being Teddy’s bodyguard and the two being in a secret relationship.

 **MurderNugget:** So I'll take a bodyguard AU and you'll write that. Perfect 

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** What.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Nonono.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** You can have both.

 **MurderNugget:** Umm no

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** I insist

 **MurderNugget:** I don't want both. I want to read some Deddy. Not write it all

 **MurderNugget:** And I think you'd be perfect for that 

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:**

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:** I’ll... add it to my list.... but it will probably be awhile.  
Spring 2019.

 **MurderNugget:**   

**MurderNugget:** I'll remember 

 **MurderNugget:** And with the way my list is it might be a while for me too 

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:**    how much has it grown again?

 **MurderNugget:** Well my count is still in the 50's for docs. But I have prompts just sitting in word waiting for me to put them somewhere  
But I'm not going to let my actual doc count go above mid-fifties again. I'd prefer below 50 but 

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:** 50 is a relatively low number considering where you were before.  
I mean… I think it’s a huge number and daunting as fuck... but you had 90 something fics so it’s a good number now.

 **MurderNugget:** Yeah. It feels better. Even if it is a lie and all those fics are just in bigger docs somewhere haha

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:**  The size of your list gives me anxiety just thinking about it and knowing it’s hidden away in other places.  
You’re a champion Theo. Turkey.

Theo can’t hold in the laugh that overtakes him as he notices the typo Derek has made, and quickly reacts with a heart and then a turkey, even as Derek corrects it to truly.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** ~~no one saw that right?~~

 **MurderNugget:** Oh I did 

**Dunbear2001:**

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:**

**MurderNugget:** Turkey

 **Dunbear2001:** I can’t

 **MurderNugget:**

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:** It was close…

Theo’s still laugh, especially since he can practically see the pout that must be on Derek’s face as he types.

 **MurderNugget:** It was

 **MurderNugget:** I figured that's what you meant at least. Nothing as bad as when Malia put basketball instead of adorable.

 **MurderNugget:** Though it will probably be a react now 

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Oh god.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:**

**MurderNugget:** Embrace the 

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:**  

 **MurderNugget:**

**Dunbear2001:**

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:**

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:** You two

 **MurderNugget:** This is a safe place for turkey's Derek

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Is it though…

 **Dunbear2001:** #turkeylivesmatter

 **MurderNugget:** It is, turkey

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** I’m crying

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** You two are terrible. 

**Dunbear2001:** I’m just an innocent bystander.

Theo has to chuckle at that. _Innocent_ , sure Liam.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:**  “innocent”

 **Dunbear2001:**

**MurderNugget:** No one is innocent here. At least not for long 

**MurderNugget:** I wasn't a Satan when I joined and now here I am

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** That felt... vaguely threatening... omg... 

**MurderNugget:**

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:** I haven’t written anything worthy of the Satan title in a while. 

**Dunbear2001:** You’re still worthy of the title because there hasn’t been a Vacant Sigils update.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** …

 **MurderNugget:**

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:** “Innocent” he said... As he drags me

 **MurderNugget:** I love it

 **Dunbear2001:** It’s out of love and respect. And need

 **MurderNugget:**

**MurderNugget:** I haven't done anything Satan like in at least a week 

Theo laughs to himself as he places in a "don't worry, be happy" gif from Full House. 

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** This must be a slow week for you Theo.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Where’s the death?

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** The chaos?

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** The tears? My tears

 **MurderNugget:** It is. I have a lot of prompts and yet nothing has happened 

**Freezerburn:** Derek don't _encourage_ him wtf

Theo snorts at Isaac’s random appearance, and hurries to type out his repose

 **MurderNugget:** Derek thrives on pain

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** But... that’s who I am as a person…

 **MurderNugget:**

**Dunbear2001:** Encourage away. I have no need for my heart. Derek has already ripped it out. And Theo already has countless times before. I kind of live for it.

 **MurderNugget:** I know. That’s why I do it.

 **Dunbear2001:**

Theo sighs and falls back against his pillows as the conversation shifts to the weather. He doesn’t mind it. He likes knowing about where Liam lives, even if it is something as simple as the weather. Conversation turns to how Liam is going to be going back to school soon, and Theo feels his heart drop a little. He’s gotten so used to having Liam around all the time. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do when Liam isn’t on as much.

He gets up and throws some clothes on and decides he might as well go see how Derek is doing. When he saw him yesterday morning he was pretty hungover and couldn’t even make it out of bed. The only reassurance he has is that Derek’s been messaging him pretty consistently. He’s alive at least.

When he gets to the house only Derek’s car is in the driveway. Stiles must be out then, either working or doing whatever else he does. Which is good. Theo needs to talk to Derek alone anyway. He’s not sure what good it’s going to do but he at least has to try to get Derek to talk to Stiles.

He knocks this time since Derek wasn’t exactly expecting him, and a grin forms on his face when he takes Derek in. He has a day old stubble forming on his face and his hair is a mess. He’s also only wearing sweats and a t-shirt.

“I see you’re enjoying your few days off,” Theo says, following Derek into the house.

“If by enjoying, you mean suffering.” Derek grumbles.

“Come on, it can’t be that bad,” Theo says. “You drank less than Stiles and I did.”

“But I don’t drink as much as either of you,” Derek tells him, running a hand through his hair and messing it up even more. “I’m not used to it.”

“Well, I brought you some aspirin,” Theo says, holding up the bag in his hands. “And your favorite juice.”

Derek grins and takes the bag from him, “You’re the best.”

Theo rolls his eyes when Derek pulls out the carton and opens it up to take a drink right there. He must really still be feeling like shit if he’s not even getting a glass.

“So what’s up?” Derek asks.

“I needed to talk to you,” Theo says, “About Stiles.”

Derek tenses a bit at that, “What about Stiles?”

“About how you should talk to him,” Theo says, “This can’t go on for much longer, Der. It’s not good for you. It’s hurting you both...”

“Look,” Derek sighs, putting the juice down on the table. “We both know I love Stiles but telling him isn’t going to help anything.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Stiles’ voice sounds from the hallway.

Theo watches as Derek’s eyes widen, his face a perfect picture of shock. He turns to Stiles and Theo backs away. He knows it’s time he makes his exit, the two are going to need time to talk.

“Wait,” Derek says. He grabs Theo’s arm, and his eyes search Theo’s face.

Theo shakes his head, “It’s okay Der. This is what you’ve been wanting. Hell, it’s what _I’ve_ been wanting. You two need to talk. But just know that I’m happy for you. Both of you,” he turns to Stiles. “Try and go easy on him.”

Stiles nods but Theo can hear him mutter, “We’ll see.”

 Theo’s about to turn away again when Derek pulls him in for a hug and whispers against his ear, “Thank you.”

Theo smiles and pats his cheek before pulling back, “Just be happy.”

He turns to leave and this time Derek lets him go. As he leaves he hears Stiles saying, “You fucking idiot. I’ve loved you for years!”

Theo shakes his head and shuts the door behind him. He walks to his truck and gets inside. For a moment he just sits there, staring at the house. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to feel right now. He’s happy for his friends. This has been a long time coming. And going into it they all knew it wasn’t something serious or anything that would last. Still, a part of Theo is going to miss the closeness he always felt whenever he was with them. But he knows it’s time for them to just be together, the way it was always supposed to be.

Later that night he checks Discord and sees he has a message from Derek. There’s a picture of Derek and Stiles cuddling on the couch along with a message.

 **LycanDoWhateverIWant:** Just thought you’d want to know it all worked out. But don’t think this means you’re not still coming over. You’re still our friend Theo, and we love you. Now it’s time you go after your own happiness.

 _Yeah,_ Theo thinks, as he scrolls through the messages he’s missed and comes across a conversation between Liam, Mason, and Corey. _It is time_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And things might finally start happening now (;  
> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	8. Chapter 8

Theo doesn’t know how he’s supposed to do this. With any other person he’d be having this conversation face to face, but that’s not an option here. Is he supposed to just message him? No, that feels too impersonal. A voice call, maybe? That also doesn’t feel like enough. His only other option is video chat. Which is terrifying, because then he’ll have Liam’s eyes on him the whole time. But maybe that’s what he needs. Maybe that way Liam can see how true the words he’s saying are and Theo will be able to gauge his reaction.

But is it too soon? For all Liam knows he’s been dating Stiles and Derek the past few months. And now suddenly that’s no longer happening and what? He’s just moving right on to Liam? He doesn’t want Liam to feel like he’s the second option. Not when he’s always been the first. That’s on the chance that Liam is actually interested.

Theo tilts his head when he gets a text from Stiles. It’s a picture. He opens it and almost drops his phone. Inside is a message between Theo and Derek with Theo gushing all about Liam. Stiles has captioned the photo: “Talk to Liam or I send this to him.”

Theo quickly texts back, “I’m working on it. I hate your job, btw.”

Stiles sends back an, “I don’t.” and Theo rolls his eyes.

He might not be a fan of Stiles’ tactics but he can’t deny they work. Not that he’ll tell him that. He finally decides fuck it and opens up his DM with Liam. It’s not the ideal way but at least it’ll let him get it all out into the open. He takes a deep breath and starts to type.

***

_Liam,_

_I’m not sure how I’m supposed to say this, but here we are. I know over DM isn’t the best way to do this, but considering we live too far away to do this face to face and I don’t want to risk you interrupting me every 5 seconds on voice chat… this seems like my only option. I just hope you can understand and don’t hate me by the end of it._

_You might have noticed that things have been a little off between us, and that I may have been distancing myself. I’m sorry about that. It felt easier that way. I know it was stupid, but I was hurting and I’m not exactly the smartest person when I’m hurting._

_You see, I fell in love with you Liam. Wow. Okay. So that’s out there now. I love you. I have been for a while now. At first I thought it was fine and it was a little crush and it would go away. But it’s only grown stronger as time goes on._

_Both Derek and Stiles have been telling me I should just suck it up and tell you, but I got it in my head that you didn’t feel the same way. That I was better off not risking what we have on a chance. The thing is, I wound up doing that anyway. I know you’ve had suspicions about Derek, Stiles, and I. And for the most part they’re probably right. We were together. They’ve helped me through a lot and they’ll always be my best friends. But they were never the ones I was in love with. You are. It’s always been you, Liam._

_I started seeing all these posts about you going out to clubs and fooling around with different people and it hurt. I know that’s selfish, considering that I was with Derek and Stiles at the time. But it still made me feel like I could never be enough for you. Then I saw your message, okay? The one you posted while drunk and then deleted? And it hurt because I couldn’t help thinking you didn’t mean it and were embarrassed to have sent it. This whole thing is a fucking mess._

_I don’t want to make excuses. I know I’ve been an idiot. Sometimes it’s just hard to sort out the logical from what my mind is telling me. But for once I’m not going to let myself overthink this. I’m putting myself out there. I’m not expecting anything from you. You can ignore this if you want to. But I at least had to let you know how I feel. I’m tired of being afraid._

_So there it is. I love you Liam Dunbar._

_Theo_

Liam stares at the screen, his eyes scanning the words over and over and over. They stay the same. Theo had sent him a love confession. Theo _loves_ him. Holy shit.

He picks up his phone and dials Mason’s number, barely allowing him to get out a hello before he’s screaming down the line, “THEOJUSTTOLDMEHELOVESMEOHMYGOD!”

There’s a beat of silence before Mason finally speaks, “Say that again. Slowly this time.”

“Theo loves me,” Liam whispers. “Oh my god. Mason. He loves me.”

“I’ve been trying to tell you that,” Mason says. “What happened?”

“He sent me this long message, explaining everything.” Liam tells him. “In it, he told me he loves me. He said it a few times actually. God Mason, what do I do?”

“Answer him, obviously.”

“What do I say?” Liam says, his words coming out higher than normal. He’s starting to panic now. “What if I say the wrong thing?”

“You won’t,” Mason tells him. “Just tell him how you feel, Liam. It can only go your way, right? He told you how he feels, and is probably waiting to see what you have to say. So give the guy and break and talk to him.”

“Yeah okay,” Liam says, eyes fixed on the screen. “I can do that. But how?”

“Call him?” Mason suggests, “This whole thing could have been avoided if you’d just talked to each other. So call him, and _talk_ to him. Though maybe don’t yell out your confession. He might change his mind.”

“Oh god,” Liam says, feeling himself start to panic again.

“I was kidding! Dude, seriously. Just get off the phone with me and call Theo.”

“Okay,” Liam takes a deep breath. “Okay. I’m going to do it. I’m going to call Theo.”

“Good,” Mason says. “Let me know how it goes.”

Liam hangs up and then just stares at his phone. He’s had Theo’s number for a while now, but never actually used it. The thought of calling him has him almost shaking with nerves. He knows Mason is right and if Theo does feel the way he says then Liam can’t say the wrong thing. Well, unless he told Theo he hated him. But he’s not going to do that. He just needs to press the call button. Then he can tell Theo how he feels and they can sort this out. That’s all he needs to do. Hit call.

Liam’s finger presses down before he can think better of it and then he’s left there, listening as the phone rings. Once. Twice. Three times.

“Liam?” Theo’s voice sounds down the line and knocks the breath right out of him. He almost forgets he needs to speak until Theo talks again. “Liam? Are you there?”

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m here. I uhh… I wanted to talk to you.”

“Okay.”

“I got your message and I figured the best way to do this was over the phone,” Liam says. “It’s time we talk. Really talk. Though now that I have you on the phone I’m not even sure what to say.”

“The truth, maybe?” Theo suggests.

“Yeah. Yeah the truth. Well the truth is…” Liam takes a deep breath and steels himself to say the words he’s been holding in for so long. “I love you too.” He lets out a laugh, feeling light now that the words are out there. “I love you. I have for months. I just was never sure how you felt.”

“Me either,” Theo admits. “People kept telling me to talk to you but I never could. Now I’m realizing I probably should have.”

“Me too,” Liam tells him. “God I wish I could see you right now.”

“So do I,” Theo says, his voice soft. “I want so many things, Liam.”

“Distance is a bitch,” Liam mutters.

Theo laughs, “That it is. But I think we can handle it. Don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Liam says. “I do. And one day we’ll meet and I can show you just how much I love you in person.”

“I look forward to it.”

***

It’s surprisingly easy, dating each other from so far away. Sure, they both wish the other was closer, but they manage it pretty well. They schedule times to video chat a few times a week, and still talk almost every day on discord and through text, and sometimes on the phone. They make it work.

Nothing else really changes. Theo still has his job that he loves. He still hangs out with Stiles and Derek, who are sickenly happy and in love. They always were, now they’re just not afraid to admit it and show it. He’s happy for them. They deserve this little bit of happiness. Theo can’t wait for the day he finally gets to see Liam in person and be with him like that. For now, he makes do with what he has.

Theo wishes that working things out with Liam could fix all his problems. But it doesn’t. And he never expected it to. It wouldn’t be fair to put that kind of pressure on someone. So he might be with Liam, and happy, but he still has off days. Today is one of those days.

It just doesn’t seem like anything he does is enough. No matter how hard he tries it never is. Sometimes he wonders if he should just stop trying. It’s not like anyone would really notice.

It’s just… Theo wants to write something that people are excited about. That they make things for and talk about and just want more of. He wants his work to matter. He just doesn’t think he’s capable of that. No matter what he does he falls short every time.

He tries not to think this way. All it does is lead to another self-deprecating spiral. Which does no one any good, least of all himself. But once the thoughts are there it’s hard to get rid of them. Self-hated isn’t an easy thing to get past.

“Do you think I would be different?” Theo finds himself asking.

“What?” Derek asks.

“Like if I got put on medication do you think it would change who I am?” Theo asks, keeping his eyes down, not wanting to see the looks on Derek’s face. “Do you think I'd still be able to write?”

“Would you seriously consider continuing to suffer through your depression just on the off chance the meds could stifle your creativity?” Derek asks, looking a little angry at the thought.

Theo shrugs, “This is the only thing I’m good at. I don’t really have much else to offer the world.”

Derek is on him in an instant, taking his face in his hands and making Theo look at him, “You listen to me, you are amazing. You have so much to offer the world. So don’t for one second think that people only care about you because you’re a great writer. You’re so much more than that.”

“He’s right, you know?” Stiles says, leaning against the door with a bowl of what looks like cereal. “People love you because of who you are. You’re writing is just a small part of that.”

“I know you’re right,” Theo sighs. “But sometimes it feels like the only thing I’m good at, and when I’m not able to do it I feel like a failure. Or that because of that people will suddenly lose interest in me or stop caring.”

“Theo that’s not true,” Derek says. “And everyone would tell you that. In fact, they’d probably be offended.”

“Especially Liam,” Stiles says. “I guarantee that he doesn’t just care about your writing.”

“You need to take care of yourself first,” Derek says. “Everything else can wait.”

Theo knows he’s right. It’s just hard to get his head to wrap around it when there’s so much going on. It’s like two different parts of his brain are battling it out and he’s never sure which one is winning. He’s just along for the ride and hoping for the best.

“So, is there anything you’d like to tell me?” Liam asks when they’re on the phone later that night.

Theo sighs and falls back against his pillows, “Derek talked to you.”

“He just told me you were a little down earlier and might need to talk,” Liam says. “So do you?”

“I was just having a moment,” Theo says. “It’s fine, now. Really.”

“You know you can talk to me,” Liam tells him. “About anything.”

“I know,” Theo says. “It’s just… sometimes I have moments where I get stuck in my head and it starts playing tricks on me, and makes me think I’m not enough. Realistically, I know what I’m thinking isn’t the truth, but in those moments it’s a struggle not to believe it.”

“It must be hard,” Liam says.

“It is.”

“Well I’m not there so I can’t help talk you down in person,” Liam says. “But here’s what we can do. If you ever start feeling like that I want you to call me. I don’t care what time it is, or if your mind is telling you not to. You just pick up the phone and call me. We’ll talk it through, okay?”

Theo feels himself relax a bit. Part of him has still been worried that Liam would realize how screwed up he is and change his mind. He hasn’t though. He’s been amazing. The only problem is, he’s so far away. But Theo knows it won’t always be like that. One day it’ll work out and they’ll finally meet and be together. He knows it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	9. Chapter 9

Theo feels nervous, his fingers tapping out a fast rhythm on his phone. Part of him almost can’t believe he’s actually doing this. He knows it’s crazy. He can barely afford rent and yet here he is about to do something crazy that could easily backfire in his face. Except Derek and Stiles have both assured him that it won’t. Even Mason had when Theo had reached out to him. Hell, the three of them even offered to help pay for this insane idea.

He moves up in the line as it finally starts moving forward, albeit slowly. He wishes it would go faster, at least that way he wouldn’t be tempted to turn and bolt, running all the way out of here and then back home. Though knowing Stiles and Derek they’re probably still waiting nearby just in case he decides to run.

Finally it’s his turn and he hands over his phone, letting the woman scan it before handing it back. He thanks her and moves towards the door, following the people in front of him out and towards the plane. He finds his seat, which is thankfully by the window, and stows his backpack under the seat in front of him, before buckling his seatbelt.

As the captain comes on and starts talking, and they start moving away from the airport and getting ready to take off, Theo’s nerves return. He can’t believe he’s actually about to do this. He’s on a plane and heading to California to surprise his boyfriend. Soon they’re lifting off and Theo takes a deep breath, gripping the armrests on either side of him. There’s no going back now.

The flight takes almost 7 hours, but to Theo it feels so much longer. He’s restless, not even able to take a nap, despite the fact that he was up early that morning. All he can think about is in a few hours he’s going to be in California and closer to seeing Liam.

He has to rent a car to drive from San Francisco to Beacon Hills, thankful it has a GPS in the car. It’s easier than having to rely on his phone. There are two cars in the driveway when Theo pulls up outside the house. He’s not sure if he’s relieved or not that he’s not going to be meeting Liam alone. He quietly gets out of the car, and walks the short distance from the curb to the porch.

Theo brings a shaking hand up to the door and knocks, knowing that when the door opens he could find himself face to face with Liam. Except it’s not Liam that answers the door but a woman with similar features that must be his mother.

“Can I help you?” She asks, smiling kindly down at him.

“Is Liam home?” He asks, hating how unsure he sounds.

“He is,” the woman, whose name he remembers is Jenna, answers. “Are you a friend of his?”

Theo nods, “Yeah, sort of. My name’s Theo, but maybe don’t tell him that.”

Theo scrunches his face up. She probably thinks he’s crazy and is going to tell him to leave and all of this will have been for nothing. Except a look of shock appears on her face before she’s grinning down at him, “Theo? _Theo!_ Theo?”

“I guess so?” Theo says, feeling more confused than ever. “Does he know a lot of Theo’s?”

“No, just the one that lives in Florida,” Jenna says.

“Oh, well that’s me,” Theo says, feeling a little thrown at the fact that Liam has apparently talked to his family about him.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” she says, looking back into the house before turning her attention back to Theo. “He’s going to be so happy. Does he know you’re coming?”

Theo shakes his head, “I wanted to surprise him.”

“Oh that’s so sweet,” Jenna say, her hands coming up to cover her face. “Okay. I’ll go get him, and maybe tell him Mason’s at the door. You wait here.”

She runs off, closing the door behind her, before Theo has a chance to say anything. He’s left staring at the blue pain on the door. His nerves return as he stands there, waiting for the moment the door opens and he finally sees Liam.

He hears voices inside and makes himself take a few deep breaths as they’re followed by footsteps. Then Liam’s voice reaches him. Close. So close.

“I don’t see why you couldn’t just let him…” He stops, his eyes wide as he stares at Theo, who can only stares back.

“Hey Liam.”

“Theo,” Liam breathes. He’s clutching the doorframe tightly, his eyes moving across Theo’s face. Then he lets out a breathless laugh and throws himself into Theo’s arms.

Theo stumbles back a bit, but manages to stay upright. His arms come up to wrap around Liam and he buries his face in his neck. He’s wearing cologne. Something he hasn’t smelled before. But Theo likes it.

Liam pulls back far enough that he can look at Theo. He’s grinning. “I can’t believe you’re here!”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Theo says, grinning at Liam, before his nerves return, and he’s suddenly unsure. “That’s okay, right?”

“More than okay,” Liam tells him. His hand comes up to Theo’s face and his smile softens. “It’s really you.”

Theo’s hand comes up to cover Liam’s and he smiles, “It’s me. You know I thought so many times of what I would do when I finally got to be with you in person. And now that I’m here…”

“I know,” Liam whispers, resting his forehead against Theo’s. “But I can think of one thing I finally want to do.”

“What is it?” Theo asks, his pulse speeding up as hope surges through him.

“I want to kiss you,” Liam says. His eyes search Theo’s face. “Can I?”

“Please,” Theo whispers.

Liam smiles, and then tilts his head, connecting their lips in a soft kiss. All Theo can think is _finally_. Finally he’s here, with Liam. He’s in his arms and he finally knows the way it feels to kiss him. He pulls Liam closer, losing himself in the kiss as everything else falls away.

Theo pouts when Liam pulls back, earning a low chuckles from Liam. “We’re still standing on my porch, and my family is inside. But we’re definitely picking this up later.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

***

“You know people are going to ask for a picture,” Liam says, lifting his head from Theo’s shoulder to look up at him.

“I know,” Theo says. “Derek and Stiles already have.”

“I suppose we should give them what they want,” Liam muses.

“Is that your way of saying you want a picture with me?” Theo asks, lifting an eyebrow in amusement.

Liam scoffs, “What? No. I mean, I _do_. But I’d just ask.”

“Sure, Liam.” Theo grabs his phone from Liam’s bedside table and brings up his camera. “Get down here,” he says, shifting slightly. Liam lays back down, and turns his head slightly so he’s looking at the camera. They take a few pictures, both grinning in all of them. Then Liam is moving, telling Theo to keep the camera focused on them. Liam leans in and places his lips to Theo’s cheek, and Theo snaps the picture. He takes another one when Liam brings their lips together, and then quickly forgets his phone, in favor of freeing his arms to wrap around Liam.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Liam murmurs.

“So am I,” Theo says. He sighs when Liam nuzzles into his neck.

After a while he grabs his phone again and looks through the pictures. So many times he’s seen pictures of couples and wondered just how real their smiles are. They always seem too bright, too forced. A show. But looking at the pictures he’s taken with Liam, he can’t help but notice how happy he looks. How happy they both look.

He selects the picture of Liam kissing him on the cheek and brings up Discord. The message with it reading, “Here’s your proof, you nosy shits.”

The messages start coming in immediately.

**LycanDoWhateverIWant:**  You both look adorable.

**MrMischief:** I just wanted proof you were still alive.

**MrMischief:** But yeah, I’m glad you two are finally together.

**Freezerburn:** Well it’s about time.

**MCallMeScotty:** That’s awesome guys. I’m happy for you.

**IHateMath:** You two are disgustingly adorable. I hate it.

**NonParrishables:** Does this mean you’re going to move to California?

**Noooooolan:** Liam could always move to Florida.

“About that,” Liam says, turning his head towards Theo. “I know neither one of us really want to leave the people we care about behind to move across the country.”

Theo frowns, wondering where this is going. “Liam, you know I…”

Liam holds up his hand, “No wait, hear me out. I think we should find a compromise.”

“A compromise,” Theo repeats.

Liam nods, “Yeah. We find someplace in the middle to live. And that way neither one of us are super far from our family and friends. And we get to be together.”

Theo stares at Liam, feeling a little surprised he’s thought so much about it. He’d been ready to pack up and move to California to be with Liam. He wouldn’t love the idea, especially of leaving Stiles, Derek, and Jordan behind. But this…

“It was only an idea,” Liam says, taking Theo’s silence as a negative.

Theo smiles, and brings a hand up to run through Liam’s hair. “I would love to live with you, Liam. Anywhere.”

“Let’s start in the middle,” Liam says, leaning into his touch. “And we’ll go from there.”

“Yeah,” Theo agrees. “The middle sounds perfect.”

Theo knows it’s not as simple as that. That there’s going to be a lot they have to figure out. But they have a plan. Or at least a start of one. They’re going to be together. For now, that’s good enough for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is. The last chapter. Thanks to everyone that has read this fic and helped keep it going. I had a lot of fun writing it. I do have plans for side chapters in the future, though no definite idea of when. But they'll be coming in the Project Meta Collection.  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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